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Although some people might try to scare you out of trying anal sex because it’s supposedly “unsafe,” that’s not actually the case. In fact, the answer to “Is anal sex safe?” is definitely a yes – as long as you’re doing right. And you’re far from the first person to have wondered this question!
This is a common question; although, many women are afraid to ask their friends or doctors about the safety of anal sex because they feel that it’s embarrassing. However, it’s important for you to know a few things so you can have safe anal sex that rocks your world!
Side note: If you are currently struggling to orgasm during sex or masturbation, then you may want to learn about the Easy Orgasm Solution. It will teach you how to have multiple vaginal and full body orgasms during sex and masturbation. It works even if you currently struggle to orgasm during sex or when masturbating. You can find out more here.
Typically, people run into trouble with anal sex when they don’t listen to their body’s cues. We’re specifically talking about pain, which lets you know whether you’re doing anal sex safely. If you feel pain, you may need to use more lube, adjust your position and the pace of thrusting or even use a butt plug that isn’t so big. Feel free to tell your partner to slow down or stop if it becomes too painful.
Related: Does Sex Hurt? Make It Less Painful & More Pleasurable
Similarly, stop if you notice any blood. While a small amount of blood isn’t concern enough to head to the emergency room, bleeding shouldn’t be common when you have anal sex.
When people ignore their bodies, real problems can occur. This can range from tearing of the sphincter to damaging the colon or having toys become stuck inside you. These are common worries of women who engage in anal sex. Other questions that women ask include:
- Will my man respect me after?
- Will there be any fecal matter (i.e. poop)?
- Does anal affect my normal bowel movements?
- Will I go to the bathroom during anal sex?
Rest assured that most of these concerns are non-issues. You can regularly engage in anal sex without becoming incontinent. It’s also unlikely that you’ll go to the bathroom on your partner’s penis. Many people like anal play and even engage in anal masturbation. Read more about this.
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When it comes to any sort of sex, you’ll only want to have it with a partner who respects you. If anal sex feels good for both of you (and you may even have anal orgasms), there’s no room for him to criticize or slut-shame you. If you are interested in anal sex but aren’t sure how to bring it up, look over this guide to sexual communication.
Some couples find that anal sex can be as romantic and intimate as regular sex, especially because you have to take things slowly and communicate well. That’s another reason why BDSM and light bondage can bring you closer together, too.
The other common concerns about anal sex safety can be address with hygiene and preparation.
Learn more about how to prepare for anal sex.
Hygiene for Safe Anal Sex
Although anal sex can be pleasurable, this doesn’t erase the fact that the main purpose of the anus is to excrete fecal matter. So it makes sense that some people are naturally worried about any messy issues that may arise.
Most people can have safe anal sex as long as they empty their bowels up to a few hours before anal sexual activity. There is a small chance that some fecal matter can come into contact with your toy or partner’s penis. If you want to feel more assured, you can purchase an anal douche and fill it with warm water to rinse out your anus over the toilet before engaging in sex.
You do not need to purchase an expensive enema system if you’re regular; however, some people like the eroticism of enemas. Eating properly, including plenty of fiber, and being hydrated contributes to good anal health. Pass on anal sex if you feel especially constipated or as though you have loose stool.
You can greatly reduce the likelihood of having to deal with poop, but to be perfectly frank, you may not be able to eliminate it entirely. Sex can sometimes be dirty or disgusting, even if it’s pleasurable, and the adult thing is to recognize this fact without making a big deal about it.
The Foundation of Anal Sex Safety
There is a lot of universal advice about anal sex, much of which you may have read in other articles on the Bad Girls Bible. It bears repeating:
- Use plenty of lube because your anus doesn’t naturally lubricate like the vagina. Lube also washes away if you’re having sex in water. Lube prevents tiny tears in your anal canal, which can increase the likelihood of STI transmission.
- Start out with fingers – start with anal fingering – or smaller toys before moving to a larger toy or penis. Don’t let your eyes get bigger than your anus. Fingernails should be short and filed so there are no jagged edges.
- Try anal play after plenty of foreplay and a few orgasms, so your body will be loose.
- Stay away from numbing products so that you can pay close attention to your body’s response.
- Consult your doctor about whether you can have anal during pregnancy. It might be safe to do so!
- Only use toys with flared bases or handles to ensure they can’t become sucked up inside your body. For example, vibrating eggs and small, straight dildos aren’t advised for anal play. However, a straight dildo is okay for having strap-on sex.
Read more about using strap-ons during pegging.
When it comes to safe anal sex, being in the right mindset is a must. You’ll remain tense if you’re not really into it, and you shouldn’t say “Yes” just because your partner wants you to. However, taking it slow and steady promises the highest chance of having anal sex safely. This is especially true for your first time because a negative experience could prevent you from ever enjoying anal sex.
Although you’ll experience some resistance as you penetrate the first ring of sphincter muscles, you can push downward like you would when using the bathroom to ease insertion. Feel free to halt any anal activity if it’s too uncomfortable or if you don’t have the necessary items. It’s always better to be safe than sorry, and you can always try again in the future. This isn’t something you’ll often see in porn. Then again, porn isn’t real life!
Safe Anal Sex and Condoms
Aside from taking the safety precautions discussed above, you’ll also want to consider using condoms (even though you can’t get pregnant from anal). Not only do condoms make it easier to clean up, but they prevent you from spreading STIs such as HIV and HPV, which are actually more easily transmitted through anal sex than vaginal penetration. Consult your doctor if you experience any of them.
Because the anus contains bacteria, using a condom can also prevent spreading them to your partner or toy. If you don’t normally use condoms, this post will help you use them correctly. You can even use them with anal sex toys.
Interesting in seeing how big a toy you can take? Find out more in this post about the practice of anal training.
Final Thoughts: Anal Sex Misconceptions
Although you’ll commonly see ass-to-mouth or ass-to-vagina in porn, this isn’t a safe practice because it moves the bacteria that are normally inside the anus to other parts of the body. This can lead to bacterial infections. For the same reason, you don’t want to use the same toy that’s been inside your butt in your vagina. Disinfect between swapping orifices.
It is possible to contract oral infections after eating ass (read more about eating ass) but that doesn’t mean you have to forego rim jobs (learn how to give a rim job). Instead, you can just take precautions such as using a dental dam.
Do women like anal sex? – When we surveyed 1,260 women who’ve received anal sex on their attitudes towards it, a majority reported that they enjoy anal sex.
Read more on this subject in our guide to rimming.
Other misconceptions about oral include that every man loves it Many guys like anal. Some don’t.
Or that it might save your sex life. That’s not true, either; although, you might find it helps to keep things interesting.
So, is anal sex sex safe? It absolutely can be! Most unsafe anal practices are due to human error. Take your time, prepare and make sure anal sex is something you really want for the most fun – and safe – time!
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Raven says
Hello,
I read your tips and what not on anal and I have a question I was wondering if someone could answer. My long term boyfriend and I are starting to experiment with anal, slowly. We’re both clean of any sexual infections or viruses and we want to forgo a condom and only use lubricant. Would it be safe to do that if we’re well lubed up, gentle and slow? After foreplay of course.
Sean Jameson says
Provided you’re clean and disease free, it should be fine.
Victoria says
I can’t even deny it… My man and I were a couple of shy basic sex type of couple. Then we realized with each other, pushing the limits was our thing. I get the whole “take it easy” ideology, the problem is, I love when he punishes me. While he was hesitant at first, I want to be his slave, “no” doesn’t mean no with us, that’s me back talking. Back talking just makes my punishment worse (I love this and talk shit on purpose sometimes). I know we’re not the only couple like this, the pain gets me off sometimes. When being punished at times there’s little amounts of blood (we always use lots of lube) but we’re not really noticing until the end. I’m wondering how much blood is concerning vs. a little tear. I don’t want to work up to it, I want pinned to a wall and to get fucked. Seeing as this is “badgirlsbible” I’m hoping for some insight.
Sharon Tate says
I’ve been having the same problem, maybe cause of my recent iud, sometimes I get screwed too hard and i bleed till the next day. It’s not painful but I’ve noticed some increasing cramps on my period… Don’t know what to do and if it’s normal.
Sean Jameson says
If you ever have any issues, you should talk to your doctor.
Simon Soren says
Give some good tips for anal sex please so that I can tell my partner for better anal sex and to enjoy the sexual life I don’t use condom
Before I put in my p in her anal I always put saliva or her sex gel but still she says it’s painful
Please let me know better formula for anal sex
Sean Jameson says
This should help you both.