Cowgirl is probably the single most famous ‘girl on top’ sex position there is. Plus, it’s easy to perform. Just check out the picture below. If you have never been ‘on top’ before, the Cowgirl position is a great place to start, and you can easily move to other positions in our sex positions guide from Cowgirl. The great thing about Cowgirl is that you are now the one in control which can be really fun if your man is usually the one on top and calling the shots.
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As I said, this is an incredibly easy position to have sex in. Your man just needs to simply lay on his back while you straddle him with your legs either side of his waist so that your knees are on the bed. You can put your hands on his chest, shoulders or the bed to steady yourself or you can just put them on your thighs.
What The Man Does In The Cowgirl Position
The man doesn’t need to do anything in the Cowgirl position. But to be honest, that’s not what sex is about! While the man is lying on his back, he can simply thrust up and down. Or he can slowly gyrate his hips in a swirling motion to stimulate the wall of your vagina. Or he can try doing both at the same time.
Your man can also put his hands under your bum and help to push you up and down if you are getting tired. He’ll be able to do a little anal fingering, too.
What The Girl Does In The Cowgirl Position
You’ll find that Cowgirl is a great position to dominate your man during sex. Being in control also makes simultaneous orgasm easier. You can bounce up and down on your man’s penis or instead, you can move your body forwards and backwards to stimulate your clitoris and the rest of the outside of your vagina. Think of it as grinding against his pubic bone. Or you can try doing both at the same time.
You’ll also find that by leaning forwards or backwards, you can change the angle of entry. If you find that you are leaning back a lot, then make sure to use your hands to help steady yourself.
Things To Consider When Performing The Cowgirl Sex Position
Here are the main things I have observed both personally and from my students when performing the Cowgirl:
- A few girls feel quite self-conscious when they first perform the Cowgirl. DON’T WORRY. It’s perfectly natural to be a bit nervous the first few times you try it. To help take the pressure off, try doing it with the lights off. Alternatively, some girls find that leaning in on top of their man towards his face helps to take the pressure off while also being quite intimate at the same time. Read more tips to feel confident while on top.
- You don’t have to be particularly flexible to perform the Cowgirl. But if you are leaning backwards a lot, then it’s a good idea to be at least a little flexible.
- Keep adjusting your position by moving your hips backwards and forwards as well as leaning your entire body either backwards or forwards until you find a position that you enjoy.
- Although your man may not enjoy it that much, a lot of girls I have talked to have said that they really enjoy ‘grinding’ to stimulate their clitoris in this position while their man is still inside them. Many have said that they much prefer this to just bouncing up and down on his cock. He can also place his hand in the “Spock” symbol so that two fingers rest on either side of his cock to provide stimulation.
- Sometimes your man won’t get much out of this position, which isn’t that big of a deal. Your pleasure is just as important! But do remember that sex is about two people (or more!) having a great time.
Similar Positions
Reverse Cowgirl
Reverse Cowgirl – Turn around and ride him. This one is one of the great positions for fatter couples.
Man Missionary
Man Missionary – You lean down over your man more.
Asian Cowgirl
Asian Cowgirl – Plant your feet on the bed and bend your knees.
Corner Cowgirl
Corner Cowgirl – Try it when he’s at the edge of a bed.
Of course, you should try all the positions where you’re on top to see what works best for you and your man!
Sean’s Thoughts On The Cowgirl Position
Personally, I really enjoy the Cowgirl position. I find it fun seeing my girl on top. However, I have noticed that sometimes I’ve been with a girl that doesn’t enjoy it too much which is perfectly normal too (after all, there are some positions that I don’t enjoy!). From talking to the girls I’ve been with that haven’t enjoyed the Cowgirl position, I’ve found that there can be a multitude of reasons as to why they don’t like it.
It can be a confidence issue. It can be the fact that they like to feel submissive during sex and Cowgirl isn’t a particularly submissive position. It can be because they just don’t get much pleasure from Cowgirl when compared to other positions.
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He keeps slipping out
Hi Lonnie,
The key here is to keep trying it. It could be his fault or it may be your fault. Perhaps he needs to take slightly shallower strokes? Or perhaps you need to try not moving up & down or back forth so much? Once you figure this out, then it will be all pleasure!
Sean
Do you have tips for the active oldster? My man is 68 and I am 65. He still rocks a six pack but I have a “belly flap” from weight loss and I have been looking for some sort of Spanx that leaves the nether regions clear for action. Having the BEST sex of my life (love your blow job tutorial…so does my man) and want to keep it that way. Due to back issues ( him) and leg cramps (me) we do have limitations (style only, not satisfaction). He doesn’t seem to have problems with my body but when we get going(me on top) that flapping noise justs makes me cringe! Any suggestions or positions for us seniors. BTW, this is the most fun and satisfaction I have ever had in my life (plus he put a sissy bar on the back of his Harley for my comfort…must be love). Fortunate woman here and using your tips as possible…much appreciation and thanks!
Have you signed up for the newsletter yet? There are tons of new tips and techniques in there
I don’t feel much pleasure from this position, primarily because I feel more pressure/stimulation against my anus than anything remotely close to pleasure. Plus, this position is super tiring. I honestly don’t like Cowgirl at ALL.
Same problem as Lonnie. I’ve tried it for several times but his cock always slipped out or buckled. I think it’s because mostly his penis is not totally stiff. What do you think? I really want to learn it!
Hi Jenni,
I think I know what your problem is. You are probably lifting yourself up and down on him. This can make him slip out very frequently.
Instead of moving up and down, try grinding on him, with him deep inside you the whole time.
Sean
Woman needs to control softly, much pleasure in that respect.
I love it when my girl is on top. A combo of me having my hands all over her, and pulling her harder onto me adds to her movements for multiple orgasms. But,I have overly large stamina, and I have never been able to climax while on bottom. It is really bothering her because she feel she can’t get me off like I do to her when I am on top. As the guy, what can I do, or suggest happens, during cowgirl to help get me off and make my lady feel empowered?
Hi Steve,
This is perfectly normal, don’t worry and let your girlfriend know that it’s not such a big deal for you. One way to lose your stamina is to cut out any type of masturbation. This will change things in a week or 2. The other way is to try a girl on top position where you can really thrust in and out of here FAST like asian cowgirl. Let me know how you get on.
Sean
My partner has been asking me to get on top but really scare that I won’t pleasure him do you have any advice??
Hi Kittygurl,
Here’s the funny thing…sex should be about both of you having a great time. Sometimes you will be getting all the enjoyment, while other times it will be him getting most of the enjoyment, but most of the time you will both be enjoying yourselves. During cowgirl, you are in the perfect position to stimulate your clit against his pubic bone. The best way to achieve this is by grinding forwards and backwards on him, not by moving up and down. It may not provide him with a ton of pleasure, but you are guaranteed to enjoy it!
So while obviously it’s important to please your partner, don’t forget about yourself!
Sean
how do you grind!!
It’s simply a case of rubbing your clit over your man’s body.
One time with my ex boyfriend he told me that the only thing his ex was better at than me was being on top. Since then it has totally knocked my confidence, and although I still go on top to please my new partner, I’m constantly worrying that I’m not doing it right, although I have shared this with him and he says I’m amazing, I worry he’s just being nice. Also I struggle with ‘bouncing’ I don’t particularly like being in control of the up and down, and much prefer to grind, but unsure if it’s satisfying for my partner, if it’s normal etc. I still try despite all of this, and I am confident in everything else during sex, please just tell me this is normal and try to offer advice if you could?! Thanks Sean x
Hi Chelsie,
Compared to many of the problems couples have, yours really does seem quite minor. To be be perfectly honest and frank with you, the most important thing you can do is talk to your man about these things. He shouldn’t expect you to enjoy absolutely everything you try together. From what you describe, you should trust that your man is being honest when he says that it feels amazing with you on top.
Lastly, if you are worried that you are not doing something right for your partner’s benefit and pleasure, ask them for some guidance. He may prefer a different angle or like he said, he may find it to be just right.
Sean
I can’t really get the “bouncing” part, maybe because I’m insecure of not doing it right and accidentally hurting him or also because I can’t even keep it going but I want my partner to enjoy it and I dont want him putting all the work and having all the control.
Hi Aileen,
If you don’t like the idea of bouncing on top of your man, then try grinding forwards and backwards on him instead. It’s great for lots of clitoral stimulation!
Sean
Hi Sean,
So I know this post is a bit old but my boyfriend and I recently became active in bed and he is my first sexual partner. He keeps trying to push me on top but I resist in fear.. Does it make the girl unattractive? Can I apply too much pressure to his chest? He still kind of hurts me in bed, will this position help or make it harder? This page has helped so much and thank you but if you could answer these questions that would be awesome!
Hi Danyel,
Sometimes it can be a bit nerve-wrecking the first time you try out being on top. But once you try it out, you’ll realize it’s not such a biggie. Additionally, you will find that you have much more control when you’re on top, making it less likely that he’s going to hurt you.
Sean
When my wife is on top, I love it. I have the ability to rub my hands all over her while she rides me
Hi,
I have recently started dating someone new and so far he has been on top throughout sex but I told him I would like to go on top as I have enjoyed that before. We tried the last time we slept together but I just couldn’t position our bodies so that he actually penetrated me. Have you got any idea how we can fix this? I sometimes had this problem with my ex too although we managed at other times.
Thanks.
Hi Caroline,
It comes down to experimentation…start trying out some of the sex positions from this list. You’ll like some, hate some and love others. The key is trying as many as possible and only keeping the ones that feel good.
I barely ever get on top because I’m not confident about it. Not about my body but how to actually have sex while being on top. I don’t want disappoint anyone but I end up disappointing them anyways by not getting on top. I don’t have rhythm of any sort so I feel I won’t be good at grinding or even the movements. Please help…..
The key is small steps. Try simply lying on top of him and kissing him when you’re both in bed, without any penetration at all. Then once you are comfortable with that, try moving it up a notch using an easy to perform position like the Man Missionary.
i have a pretty good hip control when i ´m standing up and dancing for exempel and (heard it from a lot of people) but when i doing the cowgirl i find it harder to control and move my hips
any tips?’ or is it just a confidence issue??
You’ll get better with experience, an open mindset and a guy that helps you to feel confident. Also, make sure to do lots of experimentation with your movement to see what you find easiest and most enjoyable.
Hi. I’d really like to get cowgirl down pact. My guy says he likes the up and down instead of back and forward except that feels a little awkward to me. I feel as I’m not pleasing him. Sometimes I’ve got it. But mostly I’m apologizing because I hav no clue what im doing. Help!
Hold tight, I have a post coming on this very topic shortly.
Sean
My boyfriend wants me to try and ride him but I tend to refuse because I’ve had some… Bad experience with my partners before him and they tended to just, drag me down ontop of them and it… Wasn’t a very good time, basically. But I definitely want to get over that fear and stuff, and I agreed I’d try sometime, but idk >< any tips for me to get over that nagging fear..?
Hi, I’ve tried doing the cowgirl style its GREAT!! But there’s one problem I get too tired too fast he enjoys it as much as I do but I can’t ride him for too long. Any tips on riding him without getting tired??
Hi Bella, Just keep at it and you’ll build up a level of endurance that allows you to ride him for much longer.
You don’t have to do all the work if you get tired make him do some work!!!!
Hi there. So my husband and I have been having sex for over 2 years. While dating, we both gained a lot of weight.and he is usually the one doing all the work. With my past hook ups I had no problem getting on top, doing cowgirl, cowgirl in reverse, and grinding while the guy sat up on a couch. But my husband never liked the sitting up part so that was a no go. I’ve never been able to do cowgirl position with him bcz it hurts him since our guts are in the way. Even though I’ve always been a little heavier, my partners didn’t have a round stomach the way he does. And hes not overweight just his beer belly interferes with my rolls (which have gotten bigger after baby). So he only wants me to bounce and I don’t last maybe but a minute. And now it’s gotten to a point where if he lets me get on top, he has this look on his face like oh I wonder how long she’s gna last this time. It hurts. I’ve explained to him in the past that the more sex we have the more strength will build into my legs. But he doesn’t have the stamina I do. I know practice makes perfect but how can I do that if lately I want to practice more and more but he gives me that discouraging face. Like today he got upset because he got tired and didn’t finish and I did get to bounce for a minute. I sucked his dick prior and explained many times that we dont have to have sex. Just let me keep sucking til you cum but hes the one that insists on me turning around “doggy style” (which feels way better for both of us). What do I do?? Yes I know lose weight but it’s not gna go that fast and I don’t want to put off sex til the weights off
Hi Sean. Being trying with my boyfriend to I the cowgirl position for a while now but we can’t get it to work. We don’t know what we’re doing wrong and it’s getting frustrating now.
From D
It’s great i will try it
When my girlfriend and I have sex, I usually start on top and then I go down her until she cums. I would then get back on top. When we switch and she’s on top, I can’t control it and I cum quickly. Why is that?
I haven’t had experienced an orgasm before while doing sex. Though I can feel it by myself. How am I supposed to find my spot?
My advice is to check out my guide on how to orgasm. You’ll learn how to orgasm easily both alone and with your partner.
Hey! I’ve been a month with my boyfriend.. and he was my first. He’s a great guy and he’s very gentle when he has to be. The thing is that he wants me to get on top, I want it too but every time we’ve tried he just can’t get in… I think it’s too early for my body to ride him, you know… (I have to confess that I suffer from a chronic illness and I need to take antidepressants ~no matter the consequences in my sex life, dryness, not cumming easily and being a little more sensitive to pain… In the past I’ve only had sexual experience with women and now it looks weird to me… he’s giving me oral but I don’t have the “appetite ” to give him too, considering the fact I have never gave a head to a man… I really need your advice on those things, because I really love him and I don’t wanna lose him because of those things. I wanna get better, for him. He loves me too and he deserves to be able to “spoil” him….
Hey,
Whenever my boyfriend inserts in cowgirl position, I feel a weird pain in my stomach like his penis is poking at my belly. Which makes me unable to continue the sex in that position and get to man missionary.
Why does it happen and what can I do to about it?
Either he’s too long or you’re vaginal canal is too short to make it comfortable. Totally normal and not a biggie, you just gotta adjust so that he doesn’t penetrate so deep in future.
So my boyfriend was my first time am 27 year so my boyfriend had more sex than me I what to ride him but I don’t know how and he’s tall and am short and I don’t have the confidence cuz I get scared that I’m doing it wrong and I really love to be the woman that can ride good
The sex tips newsletter should help 😉
I Dont like it.
I need help!! So when I have sex my boyfriend is always doing all the work. I feel so badddd and I want to be on top… he likes me to be on top but I am bad at it I really want to get better at this position but i don’t know how. Like for example do I move more the lower part of my body? Is there anyway I can practice this
The guide on riding your man with confidence should help.
How do you get the Bad Girls Bible? I am newly divorced. Seeing a younger men. We are 60 and 63 and have a great sex life every night sometime twice. He has been around and I haven’t. I need some help with this . He asked about cowgirl and reversed cowgirl
I was cluess. Help me please.
You can learn about cowgirl and reverse cowgirl in the sex positions section.
I love riding my man. But as of recent i havent been able to cum from it . I would cum being on top for less then a couple of minutes now i can ride for ever and cant cum. What do i do ?
Learn how to get more clitoral stimulation. The clitoral stimulation guide should help.
HELP! I don’t know what I’m doing wrong! When I get on top of my BF to do cowgirl, he really enjoys me going straight up and down but that requires me me to lift my entire body weight up. I can barely do it once or twice let alone keep up a rhythmic pattern. I hear him in such pleasure when I do it once and I so WANT to go up and down on him like he likes. What can I do? I hate feeling like I can’t do it….
You might want to try the Asian Cowgirl variation
Sean,
In what order and for how long would you suggest doing each the pancake and vortex, I don’t want her to get bored?
It depends…
Every woman is different and wants different things at different times. The only way to answer that is to ask her. Sometimes asking her in the moment can kill the vibe, so you may want to ask her after sexy times when you are basking in each others glow.
Hello Mr. Sean👋
HELP Me Please… Which exercises can help me to increase my penis
We looked into this. There seems to be no way to do this scientifically. Check out our research into increasing your penis size.
In my 20’s I used to be able to be on top. Was more flexible and less weight. Now that I’m 36 and a big girl my boyfriend of almost 2 years asked me to be on top. I wasn’t hesitant but found that maybe I need to do some stretches. Are there any stretches you suggest that could help me sit a little more down and be flexible?
My wife has a life sex partner as I have a non functioning micropenis. He is very endowed and my wife loves the forward facing position because she can control his penetration and slowly stretch herself out. We also have a doughnut looking device that’s about 2 inches thick that makes the stretching process easier. This is as great device for men that are larger for women to control penetration.
My husband and I find it difficult to get inside my v’g
Not sure why but we struggle to find the opening
Is it a size issue? Lack of erection? Not enough lubrication?
My partner is older than me…so how can I keep him from going soft…I’ve tried almost every I’ve read on here
Perhaps he should talk to his doctor?