How To Cum – For Women

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Learning how to cum is actually really easy. So if you are currently having trouble reaching orgasm and cumming, then just follow my advice below and you will be well on your way to having powerful orgasms with your man.

Quick note: If you just came here looking for my famous tutorial video on how to talk dirty to your man to build sexual tension, turn him on and keep him thinking about you, then you can watch it here.

how to cum, bad girls bible, sean jameson

With a little experimentation, you’ll find that some positions help you cum a lot faster than others.

You First, Then With Your Man

Before learning how to cum during sex with your man, you need to learn how to cum by yourself (if you already can cum easily by yourself, then skip this section). If you have never made yourself cum before then you are in for a very enjoyable treat!

The most important part about learning to make yourself cum is…relaxing and getting comfortable with yourself. It’s not about a perfect technique or rubbing yourself in a specific way. You just need to relax and get comfortable with yourself.

“But how can I relax if I’m desperately trying to make myself cum?”

It’s an interesting and sometimes difficult question. To relax, even if you are desperate to make yourself cum, you need to stop aiming for a ‘final outcome’. Instead you need to just enjoy the process. It sounds counter-intuitive, but the fact is, it works. By not concentrating on a final outcome, you can free yourself of ‘having to make yourself cum’ and just enjoy the process or journey.

But just enjoying the process is not enough, having a road map to reach orgasm and cum is just as important

How To Make Yourself Cum

I always recommend students to take this process very slowly. The most important part is relaxing. You’ll find that it’s easiest to relax when you are alone and are not going to be disturbed by anyone. This is why I advise masturbating in a place like your bedroom and locking the door.

Remember that you need to take things slowly. There is no rush or endpoint. Instead you are just going to masturbate for as long as it feels pleasurable. If you happen to cum and reach orgasm along the way, then great. If not, then no problem.

This is the attitude you need to have.

To masturbate properly, I always advise using your fingers on your vagina. Most girls find their clitoris to be the most pleasurable to have stimulated and rubbed, which is located just above the vagina and feels like a soft nub of skin under a flap of skin called the clitoral hood. I advise you to rub it with light circular motion, but feel free to experiment to find what you enjoy best.

While you are masturbating, just relax and start to think about any fantasy that comes to mind. This will help to make it more fun for you. As you continue to masturbate, you will notice that it becomes more and more enjoyable, until eventually you reach orgasm or you get tired and want to stop. Either is good. The most important thing is to concentrate on what is most pleasurable.

This is basically how you teach yourself to cum. Although others will have you believe that there is a secret magic formula to make you cum every time, there unfortunately isn’t. It’s just not that simple. My advice is to keep focusing on making yourself cum, until you are able to cum every time you masturbate before you learn how to cum with your man. If you want a tutorial on how to masturbate properly (and even have squirting orgasms!) then I highly recommend that you watch this video tutorial I put together.

How To Cum During Sex

Once you are easily able to make yourself cum when you masturbate, it is then time to learn how to cum during sex with your man. Before giving you my roadmap though, there is something important that I have to say:

It’s 1000X times easier to cum with a guy that you are attracted too and feel comfortable with.

It’s going to be much harder to cum when you are with a guy who you are not attracted to and who you don’t feel comfortable being with.

So once you are with a guy that feels good to be with, you need to have sex with him quite regularly. This is so that you can find out what sex positions you prefer and give you the most pleasure. Then let your man know what positions you enjoy most, to encourage him to use these positions a lot with you.

But you may find that penetration alone is not nearly enough to bring you to orgasm and make you cum. If this is the case, then I recommend using a position like doggystyle so that it’s easy to stimulate yourself by rubbing your clitoris at the same time as your man is penetrating you. This double-whammy of pleasure is usually enough to give you intense orgasms and make you cum.

If you enjoyed learning how to make yourself cum, but would like to learn more about how to please and sexually satisfy your man, then you may be interested in using all 3 of the techniques in this powerful blow job tutorial video. Enjoy!


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Leave a comment
  1. Bea February 24, 2013 at 7:56 pm #

    I can’t cum when I masturbate, because I have to squirt first. Apparently that’s sexy for some guys but I’m not really sure.

    • Sean Jameson February 26, 2013 at 11:51 am #

      Hi Bea,
      You’re absolutely right. You’ll find that quite a lot of guys find girls who can squirt to be incredibly sexy.

    • Ed Weaver March 19, 2013 at 3:30 am #

      Be assured, we men find it very sexy.

  2. jenn June 30, 2013 at 9:23 pm #

    i am with a guy for 2 years and 5 months and he may me cum for 1 year and a half and then i just stop cumming and i dont know why??my boyfriend use to make me come with his mouth..but i just can cum and i need help to tell my why this happened

    • Sean Jameson July 10, 2013 at 11:14 am #

      Hi Jenn,
      There is literally a million reasons why this is happening. It could be a hormonal thing. It could be a different technique he is using. It could be due to certain medications. I honestly can’t give you the right answer. It’s best to talk to a medical professional about it.


  3. Erindira August 6, 2013 at 5:02 am #

    So I am 25 and I just cant figure out how to cum by myself or with my bf we have been together for about 5yrs and I am getting frustrated that no matter what its not happening. Is there a way that I would not know I did even if I did? I seriously do not think I have ever came its so sad. When a women does cum is it a lot? or just a little that comes out. I really need like step by step directions or something I have read that some girls describe it as having and urge to pee? I feel like I cant do the job right by myself. Would a bigger penis do the job? Or is it just me?

    • Sean Jameson August 12, 2013 at 8:55 am #

      Hi Erindira,

      Not every girl can cum when they orgasm, so don’t worry about it too much! Some can and some can’t! However if you are experimenting and would like to cum when you orgasm, I always advise that you try and do it by yourself first before doing it with your man. This way you don’t have to worry about the pressure of having your man beside you/on top of you.


  4. Jess Bow August 8, 2013 at 8:58 pm #

    I orgasm but i dont cum when i rub my clit? Any answers?

    • Sean Jameson August 12, 2013 at 8:45 am #

      Hi Jess,
      That sounds perfectly normal. Many women don’t cum when they orgasm and many women can cum despite not actually having an orgasm and some women do both at the same time.


  5. kayla August 26, 2013 at 5:43 am #

    hi im 19 and i used to be able to cum and ever since i had my son i squirt now and i HATE it i miss being able to cum my fiance says wthat when i sqiuirt it smells like pee i tried playing with my self my cought some to see what color is it suppose to be… and it looked like pee how can i make my self cum an squrit the right way please help me any ansewrs…

    • Sean Jameson August 26, 2013 at 7:01 am #

      Hi Kayla,
      It’s perfectly normal for a little pee to come out when you squirt, but most of the fluid should be from your Skene’s gland, not your bladder. The first thing that I would do is to make sure that you use a towel during sex to soak it up.

      I’d advise you to try and masturbate on your own and when you feel yourself reaching the ‘edge’, focus on trying to control the feeling so that you can still orgasm, but don’t squirt. It can be tough at first, but with a lot of practice, you’ll find that it gets far, far easier.

      If the problem keeps persisting and you are sure that it’s mostly urine, then try talking to your OB/GYN about it.


  6. Elizabeth August 29, 2013 at 5:58 am #

    My husband and I have been married a year and half. When he goes down on me, which is ALOT…I tense up and get so very very close to orgasm, then I just tense up and can’t let go! He wants me to cum every time! So he knows that he’s pleasing me! I’m really frustrated! On our wedding night I exploded, then another time I was drunk and didn’t know what was going on(felt bad) those two times I cummed!! Now I can’t, what’s wrong? What do I do to relax and let go I’ve tried so much!

    • Sean Jameson September 3, 2013 at 10:12 pm #

      Hi Elizabeth,

      Often it takes a while to learn how to relax and just let go. For some, they have a feeling of shame or even guilt when it comes to enjoying sex. For others, they just plain have a hard time completely letting go. They may find that getting a little drunk (like in your case) or doing something else like being tied up helps them to totally submit to their feelings and let go.

      My advice is not to worry too much about it or put any pressure on yourself to ‘cum for him’. Just focus on enjoying yourself, even if you don’t cum.


  7. mimi September 10, 2013 at 1:18 am #

    Sean when I’m going to masturbate and have intimate time on my own I pee first but, when I’m arroused and getting ready to squirt I feel like if I’m going to pee and idk if its normal and when I do squirt it is ALOTTT????

    • Sean Jameson September 16, 2013 at 8:08 am #

      Hi Mimi,

      That feeling of needing to pee is completely normal, most women get it.


  8. mimi September 10, 2013 at 11:51 pm #

    Sean I love Ur articles but, how do I know if its pee or if I’m really squirting when.I’m using my vibrator clit help me please

    • Sean Jameson September 16, 2013 at 8:07 am #

      Hi Mimi,

      Honestly, it can be hard to tell. The jury is still out on exactly what ejaculate contains.


  9. Kerry September 12, 2013 at 12:30 am #

    How do I know if I’ve orgasmed or not?
    When I do it with myself I can manage to get to the peak, but I can’t seem to let go, and then a little while later the intense feeling leaves…
    I’ve read some comments and now I’m confused as to what the difference between an orgasm and coming is…
    And the only way I’ve been able to get near the climax is through rubbing my clit.

    • Sean Jameson September 16, 2013 at 8:00 am #

      Hi Kerry,
      Sounds like you are doing it correctly :) Coming involves secreting or ejaculating fluid from your vagina. Sometimes it occurs with orgasm, sometimes it doesn’t. When you orgasm, you should feel a very intense peak and then afterwards your clitoris should feel almost too sensitive to touch.

  10. Angel January 20, 2014 at 10:03 am #

    When I am by myself I try masturbating using clitoris sensation but as soon as I start I automatically tense up and when I feel like I should release I just remain tense and it eventually becomes frustrating and a little painful. What am I doing wrong?

    • Sean Jameson January 27, 2014 at 8:10 am #

      Hi Angel,

      The key is really relaxing and embracing that feeling. Focus on what you find pleasurable and if you find anything painful, then stop doing it. It can take time to fully be able to relax and enjoy the feeling, but you’ll quickly discover that it’s totally worth it!


  11. Squirter January 28, 2014 at 8:00 am #

    Whenever I use my electric toothbrush to masturbate I always end up “squirting” or “gushing”
    Out a liquid before I orgasm, I always pee before I masturbate, does this sound like I’m squirting? Or just peeing a bit?

  12. Neela February 21, 2014 at 12:20 pm #

    I can not cum myself how hard I tried, perhaps that may be my mental condition during the masturbation. But when I am with my G/F it happens very easily.

    • Sean Jameson February 24, 2014 at 7:42 am #

      Hi Neela,

      Perhaps it is mental. But there could be other factors at play also like whether or not you use anti-depressants or it could depend on your experience. Maybe you just need the touch of someone you care about to push you over the edge. It doesn’t sound like you have any major sexual dysfunction, so I’d advise that you don’t worry about it too much and only focus on what feels most pleasurable.

      Have fun!


  13. ashley March 28, 2014 at 8:51 pm #

    I cant cum my self what do I use I need help not a bf but how do I do it myself????

  14. ashley hoper March 28, 2014 at 8:53 pm #

    how do I cum by myself with out a boyfriend I need help how to!?!?!

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