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Once you learn how to prepare for anal sex correctly, you won’t have to worry about any pain or discomfort (or poop!) during the act.
In other words, you’ll be able to experience deeply satisfying, full-body, anal orgasms instead of…
- Burning pain.
- Angry and resentful feelings towards your man.
While this article that you’re reading right now covers everything you should do by yourself to prepare for anal sex BEFORE your man gets involved, you may also be wondering what you should do the first time you try anal sex with your man.
That’s what this Anal Sex Guide is all about: The tips, techniques, positions and advice that both you and your guy should use during anal sex to make it enjoyable and satisfying for both of you.
In other words:
- This article that you are currently reading is about what you should do beforehand to prepare your body for clean, pain-free, satisfying anal sex.
- The Anal Sex Guide is a separate article that teaches you the positions and techniques you can use with your man when you have anal sex for the first time.
1. It’s Normal To Be Nervous
It’s completely natural to feel nervous and even a little concerned about the thought of anal sex for the first time, especially when you factor in the horror stories that abound on the internet about it.
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However, if you prepare properly for anal sex by following the below advice, then you won’t have to worry about any surprises or pain or even any ‘accidents.’ Instead of dreading it, you’ll be excited and looking forward to it. Let’s start with the hygiene part.
2. Clean Hygiene
This section may not sound sexy, but it is the most important part of preparing for anal sex. Excellent hygiene will also help put those nerves on ice.
Eat This, Not That – If you are planning on some anal sex, then in the 36 hours leading up to it, you should avoid any excessively fibrous food or anything that may encourage bowel movement. Here are a few examples of things to avoid:
- Vegetables/fruit/legumes (although it’s nearly impossible to avoid them completely try your best!)
- Indian/Mexican food
- Wheat based foods like beer and bread
- Lactose (i.e. milk-based foods) if you have a lactose intolerance
- spicy food
- excess alcohol (even though small quantities can help you loosen up and relax mentally)
Foods that contribute to firming everything up include
- high fat, low fiber foods (so cheese works here if you don’t have a lactose intolerance)
- high protein, low fiber meats (steak, chicken, and lamb are excellent examples)
- white rice is great and firming things up as it contains little fiber.
Take A Pill – Of course, it’s nearly impossible to follow an absolutely strict diet and there may be occasions where diet alone is not enough to prevent bowel movements.
Thankfully there are some over-the-counter pills you can take that will help firm things up such as Loperamide.
Enema – A further step that you can take to ensure you are super clean is having an enema just before anal sex. You can buy enema kits in pharmacies and even online if you want a little more privacy. While I could give you a detailed description on how to perform your enema, Wikihow already has a detailed article on the very subject here.
Hair Removal – This last step is optional and doesn’t necessarily make things more hygienic although aesthetically it may look cleaner, so it’s entirely up to you if you want to do it. Hair removal cream, waxing, and shaving are all great options to remove hair before anal.
3. Why Anal Sex & Vaginal Sex Are So Different
The simple and very obvious reason is that your man is going to be stimulating your vagina during regular sex and your anus & rectum during anal sex. But how come some women adore anal sex and some women hate it? Why the big difference?
It all comes down to one simple muscle, your anal sphincter.
I know it sounds funny, but I’m totally serious!
This muscle is completely different to any muscle you will find in your vagina. The interesting thing about it is that it’s in a constant state of contraction. So it’s tense & tight all the time. Unlike many other muscles in your body, getting your anal sphincter muscle to relax can take a while, usually a few minutes.
Many guys don’t understand this. They think a little bit of lube will ‘do the trick’ and make everything easy and enjoyable for you. This isn’t the case (and you should let you man know this!). As well as using lubricant, you also need to give your sphincter time to relax fully.
4. The Relaxation Period
So now that you know about your sphincter, it’s time to learn how to get it to fully relax so that your man can enter you easily and pleasurably. This is vital when learning how to prepare for anal sex properly. To do this, you need to allow it to loosen up slowly. You can’t rush things as it simply can’t rapidly relax. Additionally, it won’t loosen up unless you stick something up there to stretch it out.
Another thing to bear in mind is that if you are tense or very nervous, it’s going to take longer for it to relax. This is why I always advise that you first learn how to relax your sphincter alone before trying it with your man when preparing for anal sex. That way there is much less pressure the first few times you try it.
Now that you know about this interesting muscle, you’re probably wondering what techniques to use to get it to relax and loosen up, try these…
5. Start Very Small
The best way to start preparing for anal sex is by loosening up your sphincter with something very small. I advise using one single finger. First, grab a small amount of lube and cover your finger with it. Then rub some on your anus. Then get on your knees and lean forward so that your chest is lying on your bed. This is the best position to be in to help your sphincter to relax. You’re going to be in a similar position to the turtle sex position.
By the way, it’s much easier to put your hand behind your back when penetrating your anus, inside of in front of yourself.
Learn about what type of lube to use here.
Then cautiously start pushing your finger into your anus. Like I explain on the main page about having anal sex, you’ll immediately notice how tight it is. After you get a little bit inside, stop and hold your finger there for a full minute. You’ll see that towards the end of that minute, it won’t feel as tight anymore. Then gently pull your finger out, rest for a minute or 2 and then push it in again, this time try to go a bit deeper.
As you do, you may feel like you hit another layer of resistance. This is the other side of the sphincter muscle. It’s about 0.5-1 inch deep. As you push through it, go very gently and slowly as this is the area that has the most potential for pain. Then once your push through this last part of the sphincter, hold your finger there for another full minute before slowly pulling it out.
Then do it again. And again. Up to 10 times in total. And make sure to pay attention to how your sphincter starts to loosen up. It’s simple, but it’s just the start. Here are 3 pointers to keep in mind when learning how to prepare for anal sex:
- Make sure to trim your fingernails first!
- If you are wondering how much lube to use during this entire exercise, follow this simple rule: “It’s better to have too much lube, rather than too little.”
- Feel free to masturbate while doing it (P.S. You’ll find some excellent masturbation techniques here & here)
Now let’s keeping moving forward with your anal sex preparation…
Once you find that you can easily slip one finger up there, then it’s time to try two fingers using the same guidelines that I described above. Remember to go slowly and make sure that you stop if you feel like it’s too uncomfortable.
6. The Magic Of Butt Plugs
You’ll quickly find that fingering your anus is quite awkward if you want to do it for a sustained period. An easier way to get your anus loosened up is to use a butt plug. They come in all shapes and sizes, which means that they have very thin ones for beginners as well as much larger ones if you enjoy the sensation of being stretched. So you can start with a small one and then keep ‘upgrading’ to bigger ones as you find it more comfortable. You can even purchase trainer kits which come with a selection of butt plugs of different sizes.
Once you put the butt plug inside you, it’s shaped so it will just sit there, meaning that you don’t have to do anything to keep it in place. So you can go about your daily life as if it’s not there all, if you are feeling particularly kinky! Learn more about butt plugs here.
If you want to go one step further in your anal sex preparation, then you should consider using a dildo that’s similar in size to your man’s penis. Just like with the butt plugs, you’ll notice how you’re very tight when you first penetrate yourself with it, but that you start to loosen up after a while.
Start with very slow, shallow strokes and as you get more and more comfortable, start to penetrate yourself a little deeper and faster. Again, pay close attention so that you don’t accidentally hurt yourself.
Now you know what your man is going to feel like!
Note 1: If you do use a dildo in your anal preparation, make sure to wash it thoroughly afterward before using it in your vagina.
Note 2: Make sure the base of your dildo is flared so that you don’t accidentally “suck it up” and lose it inside yourself.
This Dildo Pleasure Guide will teach you how to use your dildo for maximum satisfaction.
8. A Little Experimentation For A Lot Of Pleasure
Now that you know the basics of preparing yourself and your body for anal sex, you can start experimenting with more advanced ideas to put your mind at ease.
Just like with regular sex, what position you use plays a significant role in how satisfying anal sex is for you. That’s why I’ve put together this illustrated guide with 19 different anal sex positions you can try. Make sure to try out and experiment with some of these positions before you get down to ‘business’ with your man.
There are also a bunch of advanced anal sex techniques here that you can try out on yourself first before enjoying them with your man.
9. Two Very Important Things
While this article covers everything you need to know about preparing yourself for some pleasurable anal sex, there are just two aspects left to cover, safety and excellent communication.
Safety – Anal sex still carries a risk of infection, so condoms are a must if you haven’t both been tested and aren’t in a monogamous relationship. Additionally, moving straight from anal sex to vaginal/oral sex without your man changing condoms or cleaning himself will result in infection. The same goes when using toys. Learn more here.
Communication – This is probably the most important aspect of all when it comes to pleasurable anal sex. I cover this in more detail here.
10. More Anal Sex Tips
Now that you know how to prepare for anal sex, it’s time to do it! That’s what the primary Anal Sex Guide is all about. Check it out now to learn how you and your man can start enjoying the pleasures of anal sex tonight. And make sure to check out these 19 anal sex positions if you are looking for more ways to spice up anal sex with your man.
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