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The difference between saying the right and wrong thing during sex is small. But, don’t worry. I’m going to show you how to say the right thing every time, no matter the situation. Whether you are having regular sex or anal sex or giving a blow job or hand job, you’re going to learn the exact things to say to your partner during sex, and when to say them.
I’m first going to cover some general advice for talking dirty during sex, then I’m going to teach you the 81 things you can say depending on the sexual situation. Of course, you can skip straight to the 81 things you can say during sex by clicking here or you can learn even more dirty talk phrases in the Dirty Talking Guide.
Side Note: I put together this in-depth assesment that will uncover just how good you are at sexting and talking dirty to your man. It may uncover some uncomfortable truths, or you may discover that you are already a queen at sexting & dirty talk. Click here to take my quick (and shockingly accurate) “Sexting & Dirty Talking Skills” Quiz right now and find out how good your sexting & dirty talking skills really are...
However…
I would advise reading the page you are on right now from start to finish as the more general advice at the beginning serves as a foundation that will dramatically boost your confidence when using the dirty lines in the second half of the guide.
Let’s dive in!
What to Say Before Sex
It’s a lot easier to say anything in bed if you get the ball rolling beforehand. This can start before you’re even in the same room as your man. Send him a sexy text or picture (sexting tips to turn him on). Let him know you’re thinking of him or how much you want him. It’s guaranteed to get you both in the mood, and he’ll rush home from work or be waiting for you when you get home from the office.
Once you’re in the same room, you’ll start kissing, groping and taking each other’s clothes off, but don’t forget to speak up during this stage; don’t just talk during sex! If your man looks or smells good, tell him. Run your hands over his body. Do his muscles ripple beneath your fingers? Pipe up. Men often don’t receive a lot of compliments, even though they love them, and he’ll enjoy the ego boost. If there’s any doubt, pointedly tell him that you want him. Right here. Right now. He won’t be able to resist giving you what you want!
Related: If you want to give your man back-arching, toe-curling, screaming orgasms that will keep him sexually addicted to you, then you'll find them in my private and discreet newsletter. You'll also learn the 5 dangerous & "dumb" sex mistakes that turn him off and how to avoid them. Get it here.
Things to Say During Sex to Keep it Hot
Your clothes are off. Hands are exploring, mouths are heading south. Penetration is inevitable if it has happened already. But it seems too quiet? Should you talk during sex? Absolutely, and here are some great ideas.
1. Let Him Know How It Feels
Does it feel oh-so-good or do you need something a little more? Let him know. If he’s doing a great job, it’ll be good for him to hear those things. There’s no need for you to sit through sex that isn’t doing it for you, so a little guidance doesn’t hurt. Don’t be afraid to tell him you need it harder, softer or a little to the left. If you don’t speak up, how will he learn?
Plus, talking keeps the two of you connected just like making eye contact can mean the difference between fucking and making love.
2. Ask How He Feels
Now, you don’t want your man to feel like he’s playing 20 Questions in bed, but this tactic is both sexy and practical. A well-placed “Does that feel good?” or “Do you like it?” is hot when met by a whimper – because that’s the only sound your man can manage. And if he needs more pressure, anal stimulation or even a break, he can let you know. Sex shouldn’t be a guessing game, and not knowing what your partner wants can certainly lead to sexual anxiety.
Side note: If you do want to ask your man questions to get to know him better, try these 206 fun, flirty and revealing questions.
3. Encourage Him
These things to say during sex help your man keep up his stamina and excitement. Like telling him how it feels, encouraging him is positive reinforcement. It might also be crucial because women so frequently need extended clitoral stimulation in a specific manner. What do we mean by encouragement? A little instruction just like in the following phrases:
- Fuck me!
- Right there.
- Keep doing that.
- Don’t stop.
- More.
Of course, you can always let him know when you’re about to orgasm. This helps him do whatever it is that’s going to set you over the edge. And it’s pretty hot to hear!
Also, if they have a praise kink, now is the perfect time to indulge it.
4. Talk About Desire
You might have mentioned how much you wanted him before you stripped down, but this line of thought can continue if you’re trying to decide what to say during sex. You can tell him how long you’ve been waiting, how you had been thinking about him earlier (and perhaps did something about it!) and how you’re so excited to finally be together. You can make it a bit more romantic if you focus on being together and connecting rather than the sex, but there’s nothing wrong if talk during sex focuses on the animal lust!
5. Tell Him Your Fantasies
Fantasies are often hidden from the world and can even be a source of shame, especially if you’ve got some fantasies that you would rather stick in the fantasy world. Instead, open up to your lover about your fantasies. It’s an easy way to end the silence if you’re not sure what to say during sex. Tell him what you think about when you’re masturbating or having sex. It can enhance the mood and feel liberating.
You’ve probably already got an idea in mind, but how do you start? Try these intros.
- Do you know what I think about when I’m masturbating? 14 awesome masturbation techniques.
- Don’t you think it would be hot to ___? I do!
- I’m so naughty; I’ve been thinking about ___.
Keep it going. If he’s into the idea, he can contribute to your fantasies, or he might tell you some of his own fantasies. Everyone has them, after all.
6. Remind Him of Things You’ve Done
Was there a time you had sex with others in the room? Perhaps you got drunk and tried something a little kinkier than usual. Maybe you’ve had sex in a car when someone could have stumbled across your naked bodies? There’s something in your sexual history that makes for a smokin’ hot story, and those stories can be the perfect thing to say during sex especially if you tailor it to your man. So feel free to jog your his memory.
If it was an especially hot romp, he probably hasn’t forgotten, but you might just remind him of something that’s slipped his mind. The two of you can even try to recreate the moment if you feel up to it.
7. It Doesn’t Need to Be Words
When people ask about things to say during sex, they often get caught up on the exact words they should be saying. And trying to come up with something sexy to say when you’re not in a sexy mood (tips for feeling sexy) can feel pretty silly. It can even feel silly to say it if you’re not used to talking dirty or talking at all during sex. But remember, it doesn’t need to be words. You can simply moan, or moan his name. He won’t mind if your sentence cuts off while you’re moaning. In fact, it’s fun to make your partner moan so they can’t form words and sentences!
The tone of your voice can also make sex hotter and help you feel less self-conscious. Try whispering next to his ear or lowering your voice a bit. A lot of men lower their voice by default during sexy times, and you’ll see why.
Tips About Talking During Sex
Want to avoid some of the biggest mistakes when talking during sex? Then keep reading.
- Some people try to sound too “porny” during sex. Remember that porn is fake, and these sort of things will sound fake when coming from you. Your man might feel good, but does he really have the biggest penis in the world? Probably not!
- Baby talk is a risk. Some people find it a turn on, but many find it a turn-off. See where you man stands on it before giving it a whirl.
- Keep it simple. You don’t need to tell a story. A few words or a sentence is typically good enough. Sometimes “Wow!” is all you need. Exclamations such as “Oh God” or “Yes!” are encouraging and simple.
- Say “Thank you.” It’s polite, but it’s also sexy. Those manners work well during power play when you’re submissive, and your man is dominant. Throw in a little begging, and you’re good to go. Here are 162 dominant phrases to use on your sub.
- Don’t be afraid to laugh. Sex can be silly and awkward, and if you’re serious about it all the time, you’re missing out on half the fun.
22 Hot, Sexy, Intense & Powerful Things To Say During Sex
Now that we have covered the more general aspects of what to say, I want to give you some examples
Describe What Happening & Why You Like It
Simply describing what’s happening and then letting him know that you like it is the easiest thing you can do to talk dirty effectively. It also has the added bonus of boosting his ego in a realistic, non-cheesy way. So if he’s hitting that perfect spot, let him know that you like it (learn how to find your G Spot). If he’s thrusting in long deep strokes, describe how it feels and how much pleasure it’s giving you and so on.
Here are 13 things to say during sex that let him know how it feels for you:
- I love holding your dick him my hand.
- Feeling your dick get hard in my hand is so hot.
- I love it when you slide into me the first time like that. I want that feeling over and over.
- Baby, you’re making me so wet. (Discover how to get wet quickly and easily)
- You’re going to make me cum. (Learn how to cum every time during sex and masturbation)
- I feel so weak when you hold me down.
- (When you switch to a new position) You’re fucking me so deep in this position.
- You’re hitting my G Spot. (8 G Spot sex positions)
- I’m getting closer.
- I can feel your dick throbbing.
- You feel so good.
- Your cock is stretching me out.
- I think I’m gonna cry, it feels so good
Encourage Him
Encouraging him with the things you say during sex is similar to my advice above in the section on describing what’s happening and why you like it. The one difference is that you are using the things you say to encourage him to fuck you in just the way you like. It’s like giving him guidance with dirty talk. Here are some examples:
- Keep fucking me like that.
- Pull my hair.
- I love it when you’re this dominant. (Learn how to be submissive for your man and how to dominate your man)
- Oh god, you feel so good on my clit right now.
- Deeper.
- I want you to cum inside me/on my face/in my mouth/in my ass.
- Fuck me as hard as you can. (16 hard & rough sex tips)
- Jesus, you feel so good when you’re on top. (Learn how to perform the woman on top sex position)
- I just want to make you cum, it turns me on so much.
9 Things To Say During Anal Sex
The things you say during anal sex can be very similar to what you say during regular sex. Here are 9 examples:
- I love it when you fuck my ass.
- Your dick feels so good in my ass.
- Keep fucking my ass.
- I love being your anal slut. (Discover more on how to be a slut)
- I want you to cum inside me.
- Harder.
- I’m so close.
- You make me feel so slutty.
- Just like that.
14 Things To Say While Moaning
Of course, you don’t even have to say anything during sex. You can moan during sex instead. I have some specific advice on moaning during sex.
Fake Moaning Is A Mood Killer – If you’re not actually enjoying sex, then don’t fake it with a fake moan. It will be even more obvious than unenthusiastic, forced dirty talk. Only do it if you’re enjoying yourself.
It Can Be Subtle – You DON’T need to moan loudly. Simply breathing deeper and more intensely is enough. That gasp when he slides in, the shortening of your breath as you get closer to orgasm, and simply breathing or moaning in sync with his thrusts is enough to send him over the top.
Get Really Close To His Ear – When moaning, the closer you get to his ear, the louder you sound.
Read – 23 tips for women to have the best sex of your life.
From there it’s usually a case of letting your body take over with what sounds natural to you. It’s ridiculous to read the following examples, but try it to get an idea of what sounds right to you.
- Aaaahhhhhh
- Oooohhhhhh
- Mmmmmmmmmm
- Uuuuuhhhhh
- Eeeehhhhhh
Sounds weird to practice this while not being turned on, right?
Thankfully your breathing will do most of the work for you when you are trying to moan during sex. Feel free to add in some words like the examples below when moaning.
- God
- Fuck
- Jesus
- Baby
- I love you
- I love it
- Daddy
- Yes.
- Yeah
11 Things To Say During Orgasm
There’s no need to have specific things you say during orgasm. When you climax, you can keep saying the same things you said during sex. However, there are a few orgasm specific things you can say as you cum and just before it:
- I’m going to cum.
- I’m cumming.
- You’re going to make me orgasm. (Having trouble reaching orgasm? Learn why you can’t orgasm and what the solution is)
- I can’t control myself.
- Fuck.
- I’m cumming so hard.
- I’m going to squirt (Learn how to squirt when masturbating and during sex)
- I can’t stop coming (perfect if this is your second, third or fourth time climaxing)
- God.
- Jesus.
- Yes.
Also keep in mind how hot it is when your partner loses control, makes a weird face or says something that would sound slightly weird if you weren’t having sex. He finds it just as hot when you lose control, scream or make a weird face as you orgasm.
10 Things To Say During A Blow Job
Saying anything during a blow job can be tricky, as most of the time you’ll have his penis in your mouth. When you have him in your mouth, the most you can do is moan to let him know how much you’re enjoying it. When you are catching your breath and don’t have his penis in your mouth there are a few specific things you can saying during a blow job to amp up his pleasure:
- I can’t wait to taste you.
- I get so turned on giving you oral sex.
- I’m going to swallow you. (Learn how to swallow with confidence)
- I want every last drop.
- You taste so good. (This is what cum tastes like)
- I love giving you oral.
- I want you in my mouth more often.
- I’m getting so wet just from blowing you.
- I need that more often (after he cums).
- I can’t wait to fuck you after this.
8 Things To Say During A Hand Job
What you say while giving a hand job is similar to what you say while giving a blow job, except you don’t have something in your mouth 😉
- I love feeling you get hard in my hands. (5 tips to make any man rock hard)
- I’m going to slow down right before you cum.(Read: The ultimate guide to slow sex)
- I want to feel your cum in my hands/on my breasts/on my face (or wherever you want him to cum).
- Tell me how much you enjoy this hand job.
- Your dick feels so nice.
- I love feeling your dick throb as you cum.
- You like this hand job, don’t you?
- I can’t wait to see you cum.
Finally, there’s no right or wrong way when it comes to what to say during sex. If you’re only comfortable with it being romantic, that’s fine. But some people love being called a slut when they’re in the heat of the moment. You might like to use the word “cunt” during sex but during no other time.
People can get a little carried away with dirty talk, so if your man says something in bed that makes you uncomfortable, don’t freak out. Let him know after the fact that you’d rather not hear those things and that you’re open to his own preferences. In fact, if you tell him what to say during sex, that conversation could be great foreplay.
Most people love hearing their partner’s voice during sex, so keep that in mind if you’re feeling apprehension. Your man will likely appreciate your effort, and talking during sex helps keep you grounded and connected. Plus, it might get your man to make more noise during sex, and that’s always hot!
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wendy says
My man asked today”do u want me to come?” And I said, “yes.” Then he asked “how much?” It didn’t bother me, he likes to talk dirty and I like it too-but I didn’t know what to say!
Any suggestions?
Andrea says
“As much as u can ” in your sexy girl voice lol
Diamond says
As much as he can? What if he has the weakest cum shot, it’s like barely a spit that falls down from your lips to your chin slowly?
“As.much as you can” he!
Bah belle says
Next time tell him u want his cum so bad all over ur boobs ,ass or maybe inside u ,in ur mouth like u want to taste his cum so bad ,yeah stuff like that be bold u kno…..
Diamond says
Guys like it simple, choose a place you desire that will turn you on. I go into a deep explanation of, (how the warmth of his cum makes me orgasm harder when he cums in me.) Or when he cums on my breast I’ll play with the cum in a sexy way and thank him. But the point is chose a location that you desire. Because cuz love to make the partner feel as great as they are feeling.
KDL says
I was just asked this today!! And my reply was “ it does not matter how much you cum… I just want you to orgasm..”
Jane Lewis says
Everything you got huni
Nancy D says
I would say something like “until you completely run dry, I want all your juices inside of me” I know it sounds corny reading it-but in the middle of hot wet sex, it sounds pretty hot.
Alicia says
I have been with my boyfriend for almost nine years and I feel like our sex life in the bedroom has went south but I love him a I don’t know want to lose him for some one else. How do I get him turned back on to me? Please help me.
Sean Jameson says
Tough for me to answer. There could be multiple solutions but make sure you are talking to him in an open and non-confrontational way so that you can figure it out together.
Diamond says
I’m sorry, that must be so stressful and overwhelming. This might sound annoying and sexist on my end, but we women must do all the work! God forbid he noticed as well ans tried to spice things up, or help improve the relationship. (Rolling my eyes)
Have you tried anything yourself to improve the sex life? It doesn’t always have to be in the bedroom.
A nice greeting at the door with an intense kiss, and tight sexy hug while wearing something a little sexy not bedroom sexy, hair done.
Remember action speaks louder than words.
Change it up on him, make sure you know 3 minutes before he gets home, run his shower ready, food ready, and join him in a flirtatious vibe all day, tease him about how his muscles turn him on and he’s calling you to be closer when he flexes even if he’s just yawning 😉.
Chloe says
Couples counseling helped us a bunch – 9 years here as well
Angela says
“Baby I want You to drown me” I’d say that.
Jina says
My boyfriend is in Italy and am in east Africa but how can I let him feel me and come to me
Sean Jameson says
If you can’t travel to be with each other, then you’ll need to rely on WhatsApp, FaceTime and other technologies
Paul Samuel Ukedonojo says
This is a wonderful lecture to woman on how to handle their husband and pocket him
Ana here says
I am not a talker during sex but I do find it sexy. I have been asked couple of times ‘do you like it? or does it feel good?. But I never could reply even though I am really enjoying it. Can someone help? :p
Sean Jameson says
Just tell you partner how it feels for you. Easy.
Ben Shapiro says
I just said everything on this list, and my partner thought I was having a stroke, the only stroke I was having was sexual…like in sex, you know? You guys know 🤪
Kristin says
What should I say if my partner asks me “what does it feel like” while inside me?
Sean Jameson says
If you value honestly, then the answer is easy. Just tell him what it feels like 🙂
Daniel says
You feel sweet and ask him to grab your nipples and don’t stop fucking you. 💋💋💋💋
Sarah says
It feels so fucking good, my pussy feels so full up when your cocks inside me. I feel like I need your cock inside me all the time.
Gina says
My boyfriend loves what I say when we have sex. I always start by whispering, “I’m your anal whore. You paid a dollar for the entire night, so you can do anything you want to me.” He typically ties my wrists to the headboard of the bed, and then while he licks my pussy and my anus, I beg him to “please feel free to fuck my ass and my pussy, back and forth.”
Steph says
I love my man to dirty talk when we are having sex . But he’s not comfortable enough and I’ve already convinced him about this ! What should I do ?
Sean Jameson says
start slowly with small steps in a way that is comfortable for him
DANIEL says
Keep trying to convince him.. sex is sweeter when both partners communicate.
Lauren B. says
My partner really likes it too but I wasn’t comfortable at first but he would ask me questions or tell me what to say until I got comfortable.
Example: “do you like when I ____ you like that?” (Then I could say yes or repeat “I like it when you ____”)
Or “who’s my little slut?” “I’m your little slut”
Eventually it feels more comfortable to say things without prompting
Marvel says
When i suck my mans dick, he’s always moaning and shaking; babe youre making me go gaga… Lol.. And that turns me on
Martha says
My boyfriend is in the army but before he went I could never make him cum when giving head I need adviser likeeeeee now
Kira223 says
My man loves it when I talk dirty… Most of the time all it takes is my legs around his waist and demanding him to fill me up with his warm milk. Sometimes the neighbors call the cops when we’re too loud, though!! 😝
Melanie says
I was just thinking about this lmao same tho but the neighbors be aggravating..they stopped us by knocking on our door so I had to get up and open it…and man it was getting good😭😭
Lili says
I want to know that what my man can say to me during sex to feel excited me more.
Sean Jameson says
He can try some of the lines above
Jack says
My girlfriend always tells me that am good at doing it and that am perfect, but she often complains that am not romantic and that am not talking while we are in the process. I am not a fun of talking, I need help on how to be romantic and how to start talking.
Jessica says
I have always been submissive. My boyfriend gets turned on and loooves when I’m slightly dominate. I want to take the lead and be super dominate. But every time I plan to I get really shy and nervous and wait on him to make the first move. What should I do????
Sean Jameson says
This guide on how to be dominant during sex will help unleash your confident, dominant side.
emily says
What are good words or phrases to say your man while your being the dominant one. for example while giving him head or you being on top
Sean Jameson says
Try these dominant things to say to your sub.
Evan BetterAdvice says
Keep it clean, keep it classy.
Guys: tell her she’s almost “got you there” then say “oh yeah, OMG I’m gonna blow – You got me there., Right now, you got me there!!!
Ladies, you’re about to turn up the volume, exploit the moment in an odd way. Say stuff like “Do IT”, “GO!” and when you see “the face”, hit him with a ton of bricks and demand he “pull it out and give me (you) a show. When he starts to blow, make direct eye contact, smile and say “SHOWTIME!”… Yey!” then while he squirts congratulate him with “oh yeah” “TaDa!!! Follow up with laughter and a final comment “That, was impressive, Did I do a good job”? Certainly looks like it seeing that mess.” Impressive!
Then enjoy your new diamond ring.