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Is there anything hotter than a woman clad in PVC or a corset, with a flogger or paddle in her hand as she stands over her bound submissive partner? Maybe there’s fear or another gleam in his eye because he secretly relishes the pain or teasing that’s to come. With the right partner, props and even costume, that image could be you!
Quick Warning: While this tutorial video is quite distressing, it will teach you how to make your man scream with pleasure and become sexually addicted to you. If you are interested in having a man completely obsessed with you and only you, then check out the detailed (& explicit!) oral sex tutorial video here.
Before We Begin
Let’s address the elephant in the room, shall we? A lot of guides are going to give you advice about how to submit to your man. There’s nothing wrong with that, and you should check out this post, instead, if that’s what you’re looking for. But those guides often assume that a male dominant and female submissive are the default way to practice bondage role play — more tips here — or the only way to do it.
Those guides are wrong!
Many women aspire to dominate their men, and same-sex couples can enjoy power exchange, too. That’s why femdom is so popular, and why large cities have booming dominatrix industries! More on that here.
Whether you need to take control in the bedroom because you’re not quite at the top of the food chain at work or you simply prefer to retain control in as many aspects of your life as possible, you’re sure to find these femdom ideas thrilling!
You’ll especially enjoy this list of femdom ideas if you feel a strong pull toward dominating your partner, but you can still get pleasure from these role playing scenarios if you’re playing the role because your partner desires domination. In some instances, however, someone with a truly submissive streak may prefer BDSM scenes with someone who identifies as a dominant, and going through the motions may not be enough on your part.
We invite you to give these scenes a try if you’re still new to BDSM; although, you might want to stick to the less intense scenes. This can help you decide how dominant you are. You might find that you prefer being on the receiving end or even that you enjoy both sides of play. People with those dispositions are known as switches, and it’s a great way to experience a wide range of sensations and emotions! Try our helpful guide to BDSM.
Occasionally, you may run into a man who declares, usually in a pompous manner, that women cannot be dominant. Feel free to walk away without any further exchanging of pleasantries. There’s no need to let a small-minded bully make you feel less, and, in fact, he may simply fail if you’re a truly dominant personality 24/7.
Above all, enjoy trying something new even if it’s not something you try twice!
Onto the Femdom Ideas!
1. Foot Worship — Is there anything more subservient than an adoring partner kissing or licking your shoes? No! This is especially true if you’re wearing a pair of sexy knee or thigh-high boots, and his hands or mouth can travel up your leg. Bonus if he’s too eager and you can keep him at arm’s distance — or leg’s distance — away from you. Plus, prodding, kicking or stepping is one way to literally put your foot down in this relationship!
2. Cock and Ball Bondage — Now, this sounds extreme, but it doesn’t have to be. If you’re just starting out, try a stretchy cock ring on for size. After he’s comfortable wearing that, you can carefully measure for a stone, glass or metal cock ring. Then, you can move on to the “Gates of Hell,” a metal device with multiple rings. More info on cock rings.
For the ultimate in cock and ball bondage, consider a cage, which wraps his genitals in plastic or another material and prevents him from fully growing hard. This is a great option if you know your partner has trouble listening to directions! Some are even lockable, so he can’t get out!
3. Sissy Play — Some guys secretly love dressing up in frilly underpants, stockings, garter belters and other woman’s clothing. And others hate it. Either way, you can leverage the “sissification” of your submissive to your advantage by rewarding him with something lacy or punishing him with it! Make sure to remind him of how pretty, girly or even weak he is. If you’re aiming for punishment, you can spin those comments in a negative way, but you can praise him for rocking the look, too.
Plus, hopping for those sexy little things can be a lot of fun, and it’s different than shopping for your own body.
4. Impact Play — Whether you prefer good, old-fashioned spanking with your hand, grabbing a cane or long-tailed flogger for serious sensation or a furry paddle that provides more bark than bite, impact play is definitely something you’ll need to try at least once. Check out this post about spanking for more information about methods and tools you can use.
5. Bondage — Bondage is something that everyone should try in the bedroom at least once, and there are plenty of options when it comes to tying up your own lover. You can bind his wrists or ankles together with regular cuffs or invest in a hog tie system to bind all four together behind his back and really stretch his body out! Under-the-bed-restraints make it easy to turn your bedroom into a sexy dungeon. Check out this post with more bondage info.
Other bondage devices include gags, which prevent him from speaking, blindfolds, ankle spreads that force his legs open, and even nipple clamps. More info about clamps in this guide.
6. Teasing — The final element that every femdom scene needs is a little teasing. Whether your lover’s bound or you’ve instructed him not to touch you, make a noise or get hard, you have got to tease him! This will push him to his limits. Teasing can take place as the lightest of touches. Consider a feather tickler if you want to barely touch his skin. You can also get close to his sensitive spots or imply that you’re going to touch him or get him off and then take it back.
Of course, many male submissives take a delicious yet painful glee by not being able to touch or taste their dommes, and masturbating in front of him might be the perfect way to tease him!
Role play FemDom Ideas
Now that you’ve got some ideas for activities and devices you can use t0 exact a little — or a lot — of pain, what kind of roles can you play that will work with femdom? Fortunately, many of the roles where a woman can be submissive also work well for a male to submit, and you can easily come up with other femdom ideas of your own.
Here are just a few scenes with dominant female roles that we love.
1. Student and Teacher — It’s easy to put this scene into action. As a the teacher, you can dress stern or just a little sexy and mete our punishment to your “student” who might be late for class, interrupt your lesson or simply talk back! You can switch up the roles by playing a sexy librarian, which provides you plenty of opportunity to dress sexy enough to make your man drool — even if he’s not allowed to touch you!
Increase the kink factor by playing a nun and Catholic school boy, complete with costumes! Of course, you’ll have plenty of fun shopping for your own costumes, too!
2. Boss and Underling — Here’s another tried and true power exchange role playing idea. As his boss, you have all the power. If you stick to the school setting, you can be the principal, but you can just as easily play like you’re alone together in the office after hours. As a bonus, you can grab anything that might naturally be in the room — a ruler, for example — to use during your sexy play.
3. Cop and Robber — This one’s an oldie but goodie. Not only do you get to combine bondage in the form of handcuffs, but you can play rough as you chase and tackle a criminal that needs to be brought to justice. Of course, if you punish him for his crimes against the world — or even just against you! — you get to play the judge and jury, too!
4. Animal Play — If you really want to try something different, then animal play might be up your alley. One common type is pony play, and you’ll find bits and harnesses, crops and even blinders that make your partner look more like a pony and experience the world like one, too. One thing fun thing you can try is a butt plug that has a ponytail attached. More about butt plugs here.
You can ride him around, instruct him to crawl on all fours with your crop and even reward him with a carrot — or something more tantalizing — if he’s a good boy.
Check out your local kinky shop for similar implements for puppy or kitty play, including food and water dishes! See if you can teach him to fetch or decide if he’ll need a bit more training!
Although we’ve given you plenty of good femdom ideas to get started with, there’s room for creativity and interpretation. When you add costumes and props, there’s almost an endless list of things you can try. Remember to take baby steps when dominating your man, and you can unlock a kinky side of yourself and relationship that will keep both of you on the edge of your seat!
At the end of the day, you might get to shed submissive shackles placed on you by society, boost your confidence or make your man cum like never before!
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Dear Sean I have been doing some of your tips in the bedroom but my boyfriend just walked out and left without saying anything I don’t know if am still not doing something right! Can you help me to reeling him back please I need your help
Sounds like a really awful situation Joanna. I want to help, but don’t know the intricacies of your relationship, so it’s hard to give specific advice. My advice is to talk to him and find out what exactly is the problem.
Another important thing is to discuss these things with your partner being a submissive can have an impact on the emotional state and there psyche. Be open honest and candid with your partner about what both of you are and are not comfortable with
Great article. Thank you soooo much for not introducing extreme niche fetishes as though those are somehow “normal dom/sub” activities.
I love your ideas and your healthy view of power exchange between loving people. No hate-fueled “abuse the hell out of the guy” type stuff masquerading as femdom. No ruined orgasms, no chastity devices, no cuckolding, no verbal abuse (humiliation), no intentional psychiatric abuse like sissification. Those niche fetish activities and sadistic and masochistic stuff are all fine and well for those small number of people that are actually into it, but for most wondering how to get into simple power exchange as a way to enhance loving relationships your advice was great.
The word is femDOM after all, not femSADIST. The key is the control and the fun play between consenting lovers, not consensual sadism.
Refreshing to see the topic discussed without joining S&M and Sub/Dom as if they are synonyms.
There not synonymous but at the same time can still have an impact and should be discussed so that limits are understood
I would like to purchase this outfit, where can I find it. Thank you in advance.
Agh, I wish I could help, but truth be told, I have no idea where it came from.
I have to say that I’m only experiencing the way of being dominant in bed, as my boyfriend seems to like being humiliated in bed.. In general I kind of like the idea of dominating him and telling him what to do, but I’m not sure that I like to humiliate him or hurting him phisically. How can I tell him that without hurting him too much? Thanks for the great bunch of ideas by the way.
Talk to him
When I started this sub life ,I did it 25% of the time. He will want it more as each day passes. Pain is needed. I get lots of ballbusting to end my wicked ways.
I am away on business for a few months but still want to have sexual scenes with my submissive. The only way we can see each other is through the phone. Do you have any tips for that?
Hi Haley, you may want to try Skype sex. This guide will help.
Another really great way is to use teledildonics devices like sense love that work wirelessly through your phones the toys can interact with each other from any wear or can be used for solo play such as teasing them while they are at work for edge play. Another great idea is to have them do tasks and send pics or vids for proof.
That would of been a perfect time to leave a pair in his suitcase……?….makes it hard to resist ?
One very hard and very humiliating assignment I was given was to watch the cartoon “Bratz” every Saturday morning and report exactly what happened each week. It’s very much a girls cartoon and yes, I had friends walk in while I was watching it and it definitely kept me from watching sports or doing stuff with the guys. I also had to play online girl’s games that require daily visits. Just a couple of ideas.
hello, i am my wifes sub in the bedroom.
i am looking for resources to help me worship her better to enhance this development in our relationship.
Check out this article on how to be submissive for some tips. Although it’s actually aimed towards women, I think you’ll find some great ideas in there.
Hi Sean
My partner is really into bondage and it took me long time to really get into some of things …it was like had a problem with the titles /names of things…
So eventually I got it to it as long as we kept it focus on sensation and not too much role play and talking….that just turned me off…talking to me as tho he owned me…
Now lately he has expressed an interest in femdom which I think would suit us better coz Im very independent and strong willed woman.
But Im still put off by playing a role and saying lines and thats what hes really into…
So I guess Im asking how do I get past being bored with playing a role and feeling that it a childish waste of time.
Stressed out
Talk to him. Relationships are based on give and take, what you want and what your man wants.
So my bf and I are exploring I know a lol more then he does but he likes golden showers an wearing panties. Which are 2 things I don’t kno much about and he likes being talked down to. Do you have any advice or tips on how I do it? In a way he will like bc I don’t kno much about the wants of subs like that
The best way to find out exactly what he wants is to talk to him and ask questions to find out more of exactly what he wants. Just as important, is him finding out what you want btw. The best strategy is to start with baby steps and then go from there.
Started doing this 1 of 4 days, now I am a full time slave trainee. My Master makes me serve daily.
My partner like the dom idea… However we don’t spend much time together.. How do I tell him what to do when he’s at home by himself… Any role play ideas…. Made him cage up and use a mains power vibratirbon his cock till he cums. What else can I do… My imagination isn’t great
Well today is father’s day here. I got a present from my mistress and it turned out to be an embarrassing one. She bought me a new bra for father’s day! Had to share that.
I loved being forced to lay on the floor after I gave my girlfriend full oral service, eating pussy & then tonguing her ass as she slapped my face whenever mood struck her. Anyway after that she would make me lie on floor while she used her foot to press my face to the side and only look at wall while she masturbate3
I love to orally service women. Both eating pussy & tonguing ass, and being slapped if I don’t do a good job or she just feels like slapping me. Huge turn-on if she has orgasm while slapping my face. I must do anything she wants in or out of bed if she slaps me & I cum because of it. Ladies if your man is secure enough to let you rule him, try this. Nothing like having me buy her new jeans/outfit because she slapped me while I was servicing her & I had orgasm just from her slapping my face. Never touching my cock, or at least thats what she said the 2 times its happenrd. Some days (done this 6x) I have to stay nude from waist down all day at house & she slaps me whenevet she wants & orders me to cum. If I don’t before a certain time period,t she cuts me off for 2 weeks. So far I haven’t orgasmed during this but it turns me on. I will. She spends 2 wks making me watch her masturbate but i must stay fully clothed and limp.she says odering me to cum is hot but slapping my face just bc she can is hootter. Sometimes she meets me at area outside restrooms at nice restaurants and she slsps me several times during our lunch or dinner & then I can’t return to table until i masturbate in restroom. While she waits. And times me.
Hard slaps delivered before she turns around while standing, & orders me to stick my tongue as deep into her ass as possible.and give service for as long as she wants. YESSSS!