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Is there anything hotter than a woman clad in PVC or a corset with a flogger or paddle in her hand as she stands over her bound submissive partner? Maybe there’s fear or another gleam in his eye because he secretly relishes the pain or teasing that’s to come. With the right partner, props and even costume, that image could be you!
Before We Begin
Let’s address the elephant in the room, shall we? A lot of guides are going to give you advice about how to submit to your man. There’s nothing wrong with that, and you should check out our guide on being submissive to your man, if that’s what you’re looking for. But those guides often assume that a male dominant and female submissive are the default way to practice bondage role play — more BDSM tips here — or the only way to do it.
Side note: If you are currently struggling to orgasm during sex or masturbation, then you may want to learn about the Easy Orgasm Solution. It will teach you how to have multiple vaginal and full body orgasms during sex and masturbation. It works even if you currently struggle to orgasm during sex or when masturbating. You can find out more here.
Those guides are wrong!
Many women aspire to dominate their men, and same-sex couples can enjoy power exchange, too. That’s why femdom is so popular, and why large cities have booming dominatrix industries! Our interviews with dominatrixes should provide an eye-opener.
Whether you need to take control in the bedroom because you’re not quite at the top of the food chain at work or you simply prefer to retain control in as many aspects of your life as possible, you’re sure to find these femdom ideas thrilling!
You’ll especially enjoy the following list of femdom ideas if you feel a strong pull toward dominating your partner, but you can still get pleasure from these role-playing scenarios if you’re playing the role because your partner desires domination. In some instances, however, someone with a genuinely submissive streak may prefer to engage in a BDSM role play with someone who identifies as a dominant and going through the motions may not be enough on your part.
We invite you to give these scenes a try if you’re still new to BDSM; although, you might want to stick to the less intense scenes. This can help you decide how dominant you are. You might find that you prefer being on the receiving end or even that you enjoy both sides of play. People with those dispositions are known as switches, and it’s a great way to experience a wide range of sensations and emotions! Try our helpful guide to BDSM.
Related: If you want to give your man back-arching, toe-curling, screaming orgasms that will keep him sexually addicted to you, then you'll find them in my private and discreet newsletter. You'll also learn the 5 dangerous & "dumb" sex mistakes that turn him off and how to avoid them. Get it here.
Occasionally, you may run into a man who declares, usually in a pompous manner, that women cannot be dominant. Feel free to walk away without any further exchanging of pleasantries. There’s no need to let a small-minded bully make you feel less.
Above all, enjoy trying something new even if it’s not something you try twice!
Of course, you might be looking for an idea to dominate your man because he has asked for it, perhaps even if you’ve never shown any interest in it. Whether it was your idea or not, you might wonder what the appeal of sexually dominating another person is. You might feel turned on but also a bit uncomfortable when it comes to the idea. After all, why would someone do that?
These are all normal feelings, and we’ll try to answer your questions as well as we can. When it comes to the appeal, it could be that donning these roles helps us escape our everyday life, whether the role involves giving up or taking control. Researcher Justin Lehmiller identified escapism as a potential reason why BDSM fantasies are so appealing [1 p 86]. And while he was specifically looking into fantasies, and not the reality of BDSM, it seems reasonable that it could translate.
Furthermore, while some of the femdom techniques might seem unpleasant or even cruel to your partner on the surface, you need to look beyond that. While you get something from female domination, your partner gets something from submitting. In fact, sometimes a dominant does something for their submissive, and it can be an act of love and care as is often the case with gentle femdom. Some people may even argue that domination is always a service!
In one paper, Seung-hoon Jeong describes femdom as follows [2]:
Femdom fills in such an existential black hole, while opening a rabbit hole into a wonderland of sexual fantasies where subs can put down their social burden and jump into a thrilling new life by only serving and obeying dommes who take all control and make all decisions.
On top of that, there are practices to follow to ensure that while activities may hurt someone during a scene, they won’t harm them in the long run. You can take safety precautions such as negotiating the scene beforehand (perhaps with a contract), using a safe word, and following up with aftercare to minimize the risk of adverse effects when you play together. You and your man can figure out a BDSM checklist to know what you both want to try.
Quick Quiz: Do You Give Good Blow Jobs?
If you are new here, then you may want to take the quiz below to learn how good you are at giving oral sex and satisfying your man. You may discover you that you suck (pun intended) or that you are already a blow job queen.
Learn the rules that keep BDSM safe, sane, and consensual.
You can find out much more in this in-depth BDSM and femdom for beginners guide. These are all good femdom rules, too.
These are the sort of things you probably won’t see in media about BDSM. Whether it’s a show such as Bonding or porn, you’re not likely to see on-screen negotiation, the use of safewords, how the dominant carefully plans a scene, or aftercare, among other practices that keep you and your partner safe while you have fun exploring femdom. Some of that media may also depict dangerous acts that you should avoid (leaving a room while someone is bound, for example, or covering a person’s nose and mouth).
On the other hand, you may see lots of leather and latex, BDSM furniture, dungeons and impossibly rough sex. These things are made to entertain and arouse us without necessarily being realistic. All those things can be fun if you like them, but there is no rule that says you need to dress, act, or speak a certain way to be a domme. Nor do you need to spend a bunch of money to buy items to outfit your dungeon. You absolutely can if you like it, and we’ll discuss costumes and gear in this femdom guide, but those things are solely designed to look good on the screen even if they’re neither safe nor realistic.
It’s also important to find the flavor of femdom that works for you. There’s no one way how to be a female domme (usually written as ‘domme’). You might try many female domination ideas, but you don’t have to stick with them all. Some things might feel silly or awkward or simply not interest you, and that’s okay.
Similarly, you can figure out your sexual personality with our sexual blueprint test.
With that in mind, let’s get on to the dominatrix ideas!
Side note: If you have a female partner, then these 31 sex tips will drive her over the edge with pleasure.
Onto the Femdom Ideas!
1. Foot Worship — Is there anything more subservient than an adoring partner kissing or licking your shoes? No! This is especially true if you’re wearing a pair of sexy knee or thigh-high boots, and his hands or mouth can travel up your leg. Bonus if he’s too eager and you can keep him at arm’s distance — or leg’s distance — away from you. Plus, prodding, kicking, or stepping on him is one way to literally put your foot down in this relationship!
Some men with a foot fetish will love this.
2. Cock and Ball Bondage — Now, this sounds extreme, but it doesn’t have to be. If you’re just starting out, try using a stretchy cock ring. After he’s comfortable wearing that, you can carefully measure for a stone, glass or metal cock ring. Then, you can move on to the “Gates of Hell,” a metal device with multiple rings.
For the ultimate in cock and ball bondage, consider a cage, which wraps his genitals in plastic or another material and prevents him from fully growing hard. This is a great option if you know your partner has trouble listening to directions! Some are even lockable, so he can’t get out!
This form of cock and ball bondage can also work great alone as self bondage.
3. Sissy Play — Some guys secretly love dressing up in frilly underpants, stockings, garter belters, and other woman’s clothing. And others hate it. Either way, you can leverage the “sissification” of your submissive to your advantage by rewarding him with something lacy or punishing him with it! Make sure to remind him of how pretty, girly or even weak he is. If you’re aiming for punishment, you can spin those comments in a negative way, but you can praise him for rocking the look, too.
Plus, shopping for those sexy little things can be a lot of fun, and it’s different than shopping for your own body.
Along with these femdom ideas, you can come up with a feminization of his name or a nickname to use during play.
4. Impact Play — Whether you prefer good, old-fashioned spanking with your hand, grabbing a cane or long-tailed flogger for serious sensation or a furry paddle that provides more bark than bite, impact play is definitely something you’ll need to try at least once. Check out our erotic spanking guide for more information about methods and tools you can use.
5. Bondage — Bondage is something that everyone should try in the bedroom at least once, and there are plenty of options when it comes to tying up your own lover. You can bind his wrists or ankles together with regular cuffs or invest in a hogtie system to bind all four together behind his back and really stretch his body out! Under-the-bed restraints make it easy to turn your bedroom into a sexy dungeon. Check out our introductory guide to bondage.
Other bondage devices include gags, which prevent him from speaking. A particular type of gag that can be especially effective for erotic humiliation is shaped like a penis. You can also try blindfolds, ankle spreaders that force his legs open, or nipple clamps. More info about nipple clamps in our nipple orgasm guide!
Read our bondage for beginners article to learn more.
6. Teasing — The final element that every femdom scene needs is a little teasing. Whether your lover’s bound or you’ve instructed him not to touch you, make a noise or get hard, you have got to tease him! This will push him to his limits. Teasing can take place as the lightest of touches. Consider a feather tickler if you want to barely touch his skin. You can also get close to his sensitive spots or imply that you’re going to touch him or get him off and then take it back.
Of course, many male submissives take a delicious yet painful glee by not being able to touch or taste their dommes, and masturbating in front of him might be the perfect way to tease him!
7. Manners — What is femdom if not a way to control your man to your heart’s desire? Make sure that your submissive partner learns his manners. He should ask and say “Please” before he touches himself or you, before he comes, and before he does anything you have not given him permission to do. He should thank you for those opportunities.
Any time he disappoints you, he must apologize and express regret.
Finally, you might require him to address you a certain way. For example, you might require that he starts and ends any sentence with “Mistress.”
8. Cuckolding — Cuckolding your man is a fetish wherein men take pleasure in watching their partners have sex with others (this makes him the cuckold). It’s similar to hotwifing. If you want to go all the way, you can initiate with another man (known as the bull) while your submissive partner watches. Make it more sadistic by not letting your man watch.
Related: The Complete List of 200+ Kinks and Fetishes
But if that’s too much for you or you prefer light femdom, you could simply incorporate it into dirty talk, pretend to text another guy, or use a toy to compare to your man. Describe the men you meet who might make a good bull. You can even go someplace public and flirt or dance with another guy. Take control by forcing him to be the cuckold.
Psst, are you looking for more light femdom ideas? Check out this guide to sensual domination.
9. Orgasm Control — Orgasm control is one of the most popular femdom ideas! As the domme, you get to choose when – and if – your man gets to come! You can control orgasms through a physical means such as a cock cage or chastity belt, or you can use pain to “ruin” an orgasm. You can also work on training his body so that he doesn’t orgasm until you say so.
He might need to perform specific tasks or earn points to earn an orgasm. Or you may put off his orgasm for as long as possible. Get inspired by reading our guide on orgasm denial.
One form of orgasm control is edging, where you bring him to the brink of orgasm time and again. You stop stimulation or do something to prevent orgasm before doing it again. Once you finally let him come, the orgasm can be explosive!
Finally, man people enjoy playing with ruined orgasms, an activity in which you prevent or make orgasms less intense. It makes for a great punishment!
10. Service — Some people love acts of seervice as part of their BDSM relationships and scenes. A submissive can serve you in a variety of ways from bringing you food and drink to massaging you to cleaning to shaving your body. You can even make him paint your nails – and his as well! There are a ton of femdom ideas within service, and you can also incorporate femdom training as you teach your partner exactly how you want each act performed.
11. Humiliation — While not every male submissive likes to be humiliated, it is a common enough theme, which makes it a great dominatrix idea. If you’re looking for humiliation ideas, you can always stick with the tried-and-true penis humiliation. Even if a man has a large penis, he may get off when he’s told it’s small or otherwise underperforms. Similarly, body humiliation can do the trick. Other men may prefer humiliation ideas that focus on his performance as a provider and traditional gender roles.
You can even humiliate a guy by making him wear clothing or accessories in public. Make him shave his legs before he leaves the house. Woman’s perfume can be especially effective as you send him out to do the shopping.
Even in private, forcing him to perform sexual or feminine acts such as dancing or wearing makeup can be super embarrassing.
Finally, consider commanding him to lick up his own cum after he orgasms. You can take pictures or video of any of these activities to use as a threat if he misbehaves. Up the ante by making him beg for the activities that he doesn’t want and thank you once they’re complete.
Here are an additional 129 humiliation ideas and 162 sexually dominant phrases to say to your sub.
12. Degradation — This goes along with the femdom idea above. Calling names or using certain insults puts you in control.
13. Make a Mess — From spitting to golden showers, you can remind your partner who’s in charge – you! These femdom ideas aren’t for everyone, so it’s okay if you skip them.
14. Bathroom Control — Most people can use the bathroom whenever they like, but having to ask for permission makes a person incredibly humble. Some people in 24/7 relationships incorporate bathroom control.
Just remember to allow your partner to go often enough to remain healthy. Holding it in too long isn’t good. The normal range for passing solid waste is from three times a day to once every three days [3], and holding it in may lead to impacted bowels. Urine contains byproducts that can back up into the kidneys if it’s not allowed to exit the body.
15. Cock and Ball Torture — Go one step beyond bondage and try cock and ball torture, also known as CBT. With CBT, you may pinch, stretch, pierce, step on, and otherwise “abuse” his penis. Any method you can use to apply pain can do the trick. Consider pouring hot wax.
Important: Use only wax that melts at a low temperature such as that in massage candles to prevent burns.
Remember, too, that arousal changes how we experience pain. And the more aroused somebody is, the more likely they’ll be receptive to pain [4 p 170].
Obviously, cock and ball torture is more advanced and carries a bigger risk than merely putting someone in a blindfold. However, if you’re looking for a more extreme idea for dominating him, this is definitely one to consider!
16. Anal Play and Plugging — For many guys, the idea of anal play is a bit humiliating. It contradicts their idea of masculinity and power. This makes it an excellent dominatrix idea and one that you can customize to your liking. For example, you can incorporate butt plugs during kinky play and anal beads or penetrate him anally with a dildo and harness (this is known as pegging your partner).
Consider making him prepare for anal play by cleaning and shaving and perhaps inserting a plug as he goes about his daily business. Then he’ll be ready when it comes time to penetrate him anally.
Guys who get off on any negative feelings they might have about anal play will enjoy this aspect. However, the sensitive organ known as the prostate can also be stimulated via the anus, which makes this idea for dominating your man extra pleasurable (perfect if you are a Pleasure Dom). Plus, you get to feel powerful as you experiment with this femdom technique!
17. Oral — Of course, you can demand that he go down on you whenever you want. Face sitting is a perfect female dominant sex position for him while performing oral on you.
However, you can use oral to achieve femdom humiliation, too!
Here’s how: Giving your man femdom instructions to perform oral on a dildo.
You can critique his skills, comment on how the dildo is bigger or more satisfying than him, and make him penetrate himself with the dildo afterward.
18. Phone/Cyber Femdom — While most of these femdom ideas are best when done in person, you can try a lot of them over the phone or Internet. Video chats make it especially easy to see what your partner is doing and can be useful if you’re in a long-distance relationship or one of you is currently traveling.
It might take a bit to figure out how to make your commands and punishments work over the phone, but brainstorming can really get your juices flowing. Plus, you can enlist your partner to come up with femdom ideas as well as appropriate punishments.
19. Dressing the Part — While you don’t have to dress up or look a certain way when dominating your man, the right look can certainly boost your femdom games! So what should you wear? The simplest answer is whatever makes you feel powerful! You probably won’t go wrong with the color black, but it doesn’t necessarily have to be leather or latex. Both of those materials can be pricey or uncomfortable, and if you’re uncomfortable, it can detract from the scene.
Here are a few ideas to get you started, but feel free to get creative:
- High heels (stilettos are great)
- Thigh-high boots
- Pencil skirt
- Blazer
- Button-down shirt
- Bodycon dress
- Corset (or bustier if you want less restriction)
- Lingerie
- Stockings or fishnet
- Bodysuit
Don’t forget any prescribed roles you’re playing. You’ll dress differently as a teacher or businesswoman than you would when playing a queen. Plus, you might want an actual costume for some roles (police or military, for example).
Get more tips for dressing sexy.
20. DIY Female Domination — If you have an idea for dominating him or get an excellent punishment idea that requires a specific item, you have to go out and buy it, right? Not necessarily! Whether you’re on a budget or simply unsure if you like something, you can often find something at your home to DIY it! There are plenty of items that can be perverted to suit your kinks!
- Spoons, spatulas, rulers, fly swatters, dowels, garden canes, flip flops, and hairbrushes can all work for impact play. Remember that the broader an object, the more “thuddy” it will feel while narrow objects sting [5].
- Turn the brush around and the bristles work for sensation play (different brushes feel differently, too).
- Cover the handle with a condom to use for penetration.
- You can make a flogger out of shoelaces or cut rubberbands.
- Use soft gloves, feather dusters or cat toys, and scarves, for sensation play.
- Panties can become a gag — or sterilize a Wiffle ball and run a string through it to make one.
- Scarves and ties can become blindfolds.
- Use stick-on Velcro to make your own cuffs.
- Clothespins or a chip clip can be used as nipple clamps.
- Try ice cubes for temperature play.
- Plastic wrap can be used for bondage.
- Ratchet straps can be used to tie someone up.
- Play dress-up with a dog collar.
- Muscle creams (Ben Gay or Icy Hot) can be used to create quite a shock.
- Hot sauce burns when applied to sensitive skin.
A Word on DIY Bondage
There are plenty of items you can use to tie a person up that may not actually be safe. For example, silk scarves or nylons can tighten and cut off blood flow when someone struggles against them. And while the police may have special zip-tie handcuffs, they aren’t like regular zip ties that you would use to keep your cords organized. Consider a belt, which stays the same diameter, or cotton fabric, which won’t restrict.
There are plenty of ropes and chains you can buy at the hardware store — and potentially the dollar store — to do the job.
If you do tie someone up, whether it’s DIY or with a store-bought item, it’s smart to have a way to get them off quickly in case of an emergency. A pair of safety shears (medical scissors) works for thinner materials, but a wire or bolt cutters can make quick work of cuffs that are made from tougher stuff.
Roleplay FemDom Ideas
Now that you’ve got some ideas for activities and devices you can use t0 exact a little — or a lot — of pain, what kind of roles can you play that will work with femdom? Fortunately, many of the roles where a woman can be submissive also work well for a male to submit, and you can easily come up with other femdom ideas of your own.
Here are just a few scenes with dominant female roles that we love.
1. Student and Teacher
It’s easy to put this scene into action. As the teacher, you can dress stern or just a little sexy and mete our punishment to your “student” who might be late for class, interrupt your lesson, or simply talk back! You can switch up the roles by playing a sexy librarian, which provides you plenty of opportunity to dress sexy enough to make your man drool — even if he’s not allowed to touch you!
Increase the kink factor by playing a nun and Catholic schoolboy, complete with costumes! Of course, you’ll have plenty of fun shopping for your own costumes, too!
2. Boss and Underling
Here’s another tried and true power exchange role-playing idea. As his boss, you have all the power. If you stick to the school setting, you can be the principal, but you can just as easily play like you’re alone together in the office after hours. As a bonus, you can grab anything that might naturally be in the room — a ruler, for example — to use during your sexy play.
3. Cop and Robber
This one’s an oldie but goodie. Not only do you get to combine bondage in the form of handcuffs, but you can play rough as you chase and tackle a criminal that needs to be brought to justice. Of course, if you punish him for his crimes against the world — or even just against you! — you get to play the judge and jury, too!
4. Pet Play
If you really want to try something different, then pet play might be up your alley. One common type is pony play, and you’ll find bits and harnesses, crops and even blinders that make your partner look more like a pony and experience the world like one, too. One thing fun thing you can try is a butt plug that has a ponytail attached.
You can ride him around, instruct him to crawl on all fours with your crop and even reward him with a carrot — or something more tantalizing — if he’s a good boy.
Check out your local kinky shop for similar implements for puppy or kitty play, including food and water dishes! See if you can teach him to fetch or decide if he’ll need a bit more training!
Read More: Pet Play 101
Although we’ve given you plenty of good femdom ideas to get started with, there’s room for creativity and interpretation. When you add costumes and props, there’s almost an endless list of things you can try. Remember to take baby steps when dominating your man, and you can unlock a kinky side of yourself and relationship that will keep both of you on the edge of your seat!
Punishment Ideas
Whether your femdom games take place only in the bedroom or you live more of a femdom lifestyle, punishment is how you correct unwanted or disobedient behavior. Sometimes the best punishment is one that “fits the crime.” So if your partner misspeaks, make him wear a gag or force him to wear a chastity belt if he comes without permission. These femdom ideas will get you started, but feel free to get creative.
1. Cold Shower
A blast from the cold shower is a punishment that requires no special equipment. Simply march him to the shower when he hasn’t listened. Alternatively, you might use the sprayer from your sink or even a squirt bottle when you need to punish him for bad behavior.
2. Spanking and Impact Play
Use your hand, foot, a flogger or whip, a cane, a paddle, or something else to smack your man’s butt when he’s been naughty. You can slap his face or genitals; although, you should be careful when using implements on these places. Avoid aiming for the kidneys with floggers.
Check out these bondage positions, some of which are great for spanking.
3. Kneel on a Pencil
This punishment idea might not sound so rough, but try it yourself (in fact, it’s a good idea to try any punishment so you know just how it feels!). After just a few minutes, kneeling on a pencil can be excruciating!
4. Holding Up Pennies
When your partner fails to obey, you can make him hold a penny against the wall with his nose. Make it even harder by having him spread his hands and hold up a penny with each finger/thumb for a total of ten pennies. Punish him whenever a penny falls.
5. Chastity Belt
You can place a chastity belt on your guy if he has failed to earn an erection or orgasm. Continued failure increases the time he’ll spend in the belt. Furthermore, attaching weights to the belt can make it more excruciating. Bells also work, so that every time he moves, he’ll be reminded of what he’s wearing.
6. Tedious Tasks
Giving a task to your submissive like being made to write out a sentence 50 times or clean the same spot for a certain amount of time can be an effective punishment.
7. Bound Hands
If he fails to complete an activity to your satisfaction, bind his hands, so he has to use his mouth to do it. He’ll realize how good he had it before.
8. Standing on Toes
Standing on his toes is another severe form of punishment that can have an impact in short order. You can bind his hands and attach them to a rope that’s secured over his head to ensure he stays in position.
9. Exercise
Take a page from the military and demand he drops and “give you twenty” pushups when he is disobedient. Pick a type of exercise he especially dislikes and have him do some reps.
Are you looking for more? Check out this list of BDSM punishments.
Remember to follow through on any punishments that you promised. If you don’t, he won’t take you seriously.
Many women thrive when donning the role of the dominant. At the end of the day, you might get to shed submissive shackles placed on you by society, boost your confidence, or make your man come like never before!
Learn: The 19 different types of doms.
Resources
Rebecca Dane writes about making her own flogger on YourTango, and you can, too!
In this episode of Sex Probz, Lola and Francisco help an aspiring kinkster outfit his home with kinky items, some of which are DIY and others of which come from the dollar store.
If you want female domination ideas in hard copy, check out The Mistress Manual: A Good Girl’s Guide to Female Dominance by Mistress Lorelei.
Jay Wiseman’s Sm 101: A Realistic Introduction is a fantastic resource that teaches about the practical elements of BDSM and can give you some creative femdom ideas.
Femdom for Nice Girls is another book to help you on your journey.
We put together this guide that explains the meaning of dom and sub in a sexual and BDSM context.
Frequently Asked Questions
FAQ #1 – How does the reality of femdom differ from what I see on TV or even in porn?
Media portrayals are meant to entertain and arouse, and you see couples jumping right in. The audience doesn’t get to see negotiations or contract signing that happens before, aftercare once the scene has finished, what it takes to dress the part or develop skills, or even the use of condoms. You don’t necessarily know what’s going through anyone’s mind — how serving and receiving pain can be a positive for the submissive partner and how the domme plans scenes with care and takes note of their partner’s state.
That’s why porn doesn’t make a great femdom guide. There’s too much that isn’t shown. However, reading this article about femdom for beginners, listening to podcasts, and picking up books can provide you with the skills you need. Even when you take the time to do that, it can take some time to find your style, figure out what works for you and your partner, and hone your femdom skills.
FAQ #2 – How many women are interested in female domination? How many men want to submit to women?
You’ll see plenty of portrayals of dominant men with submissive women, but it’s not uncommon for the roles to reverse. One study found that while 64.6% of women had fantasies about being dominated, 46.7% had fantasized about doing the dominating [6]. Researcher Justin Lehmiller found that women more frequently have BDSM fantasies and more frequently fantasize about giving and receiving pain than men [1 p xvii, 84].
When it comes to actions, a YouGov poll revealed that 4% of women liked to dominate while 21% prefer to be submissive in bed [7]. While the trope of the submissive woman is not always based in reality, you’re not alone if you want to be the dominant partner in bed.
FAQ #3- How can I dominate my partner if I love him?
If your partner has expressed interest in you dominating him or has suggested some femdom ideas, you might be on the fence. Some of these things look extreme and can leave bruises or involve cutting the skin. How can you hit or humiliate someone you are supposed to love? But there’s more than meets the eye when it comes to BDSM.
First, remember that you have a lot of responsibility and care when it goes to planning a scene, making sure it goes how you want, listening to your partner’s needs, and helping them return to equilibrium afterward. A good domme is concerned about her partner’s wellbeing.
Secondly, submitting can be highly arousing and relaxing. Even punishing your partner can do something for him. In fact, you can craft a scene based specifically on your partner’s needs and preferences. One thing that submissives can experience during a scene is subspace.
Lastly, a person may be physically hurt when you’re engaging in femdom, but they shouldn’t be harmed in the long run, and the care you need to take during a scene should ensure that.
Talking to your man to understand why he wants you to dominate him and reading resources like this femdom guide can help explain what people get out of it and how you can connect through femdom.
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Dear Sean I have been doing some of your tips in the bedroom but my boyfriend just walked out and left without saying anything I don’t know if am still not doing something right! Can you help me to reeling him back please I need your help
Sounds like a really awful situation Joanna. I want to help, but don’t know the intricacies of your relationship, so it’s hard to give specific advice. My advice is to talk to him and find out what exactly is the problem.
Another important thing is to discuss these things with your partner being a submissive can have an impact on the emotional state and there psyche. Be open honest and candid with your partner about what both of you are and are not comfortable with
Misterss I’m in love deeply with my girlfriend or soon to be wife.ilove pleasing her ,I was built for her pleasure.i beg to give her head.eatting her out is a pleasure to me.i have worshipped her beautiful ass and love it.i know she likes me licking her ass like a starved dog .I’m all man 100% I’m just into pleasing her .she likes it I know.she seems to be in to it too.but she acts shy at time’s am I doing something wrong please help me I told her how I feel and what pleases me is her and pleasing her help please
Tim,
It’s great that you love to please her. The best thing you can do is to have open dialogue with her. Don’t be shy talking about taboo things. Even if you seem shy about it, put on a brave face. It also helps some couples to come out of their shells by having a more open dialogue in texts first. It takes the awkward feeling of being face to face out of the equation.
Also, while it’s great that you love to please her. Make sure you are letting her do what she loves to do too. OPEN DIALOGUE!!! I can’t stress it enough.
Kendra
Yes,I’m in the same boat,I love to eat my wifes big ass,I love to cum inside of her and eat it out,while. At times she will take the dildo and fuck me with it but afterwards she talks down to me about doing it,how do I get her to dominate me and let me be submissive to her,I need it so bad.
Hi Joanna, I may be able to help. Don’t follow anything this website says. It’s a mixture of femdom fun that you can find anywhere and zero in between. I have no proper idea of your situation within your relationship, however I can say any type of sex that goes beyond the vanilla, wether it’s swinging, bdsm, taboo roleplay etc. This is a deeply intermit and if done correctly a potential even better deepening and bonding physical and emotional relationship. As such (which should have been stressed on here) regardless of your both new to this, one of you is but the other isn’t etc is open and honest conversation(s) with each other, based off early understanding that you both have a mutual interest in exploring this type of fun, which you’ve fully discussed together and set boundaries and attempted to understand how any activities you agree to do first. Some subs like some aspects of play but others so you both need to understand clearly what type of sub they want to experience. If they are interested in pain play and new you’ll need to start very slowly. You should never, ever try to force, push, cowers, pressure, put opon another persons to be subjugate if it not something they want to mutually try in any physical activity male or female. If it’s not something your partner is interested , then you respect that as you would want them to respect your boundaries. The recipient or sub is and will always be in charge with the Dom only doing activities within the subs agreed comfort unless the sun has asked for their boundaries to be pushed! Just because you may had some degree of conversation about femdom, it does not mean it is then ok to suddenly spring on them to be try it there and then unless mutually agreed before. It is there call when and if they wish to try something as the recipient and take a mutual interest from fantasy to reality. Lastly pls don’t try and jump in head first, get to know and practice with other Doms so you learn how to do play out your partners and your fantasy safely without doing serious in excusable harm! It takes a great deal of trust for someone to make themselves vulnerable to you, so respect it always, then and their choices. As a Dom it’s not about you having reckless fun abusing them or gratification through some sadistic pleasure in inflicting harm on someone. It’s a duty of care and and intimate thing as part of but not all of what you get up to. So I’m short, for me if someone put on me this sudden and undiscussed expectation to be subjugated, try to rush you into trying femdom without taking interest in their partners needs, feeling, limits etc or had some experience in what they are doing then I would turn around and walk away too as they are big red flags.
Great article. Thank you soooo much for not introducing extreme niche fetishes as though those are somehow “normal dom/sub” activities.
I love your ideas and your healthy view of power exchange between loving people. No hate-fueled “abuse the hell out of the guy” type stuff masquerading as femdom. No ruined orgasms, no chastity devices, no cuckolding, no verbal abuse (humiliation), no intentional psychiatric abuse like sissification. Those niche fetish activities and sadistic and masochistic stuff are all fine and well for those small number of people that are actually into it, but for most wondering how to get into simple power exchange as a way to enhance loving relationships your advice was great.
The word is femDOM after all, not femSADIST. The key is the control and the fun play between consenting lovers, not consensual sadism.
Refreshing to see the topic discussed without joining S&M and Sub/Dom as if they are synonyms.
There not synonymous but at the same time can still have an impact and should be discussed so that limits are understood
I would like to purchase this outfit, where can I find it. Thank you in advance.
Agh, I wish I could help, but truth be told, I have no idea where it came from.
I have to say that I’m only experiencing the way of being dominant in bed, as my boyfriend seems to like being humiliated in bed.. In general I kind of like the idea of dominating him and telling him what to do, but I’m not sure that I like to humiliate him or hurting him phisically. How can I tell him that without hurting him too much? Thanks for the great bunch of ideas by the way.
Talk to him
When I started this sub life ,I did it 25% of the time. He will want it more as each day passes. Pain is needed. I get lots of ballbusting to end my wicked ways.
You are so perfect. No reason to humiliate. We know who is better. Just rule and not just in bed. You are better and we know it.
I am away on business for a few months but still want to have sexual scenes with my submissive. The only way we can see each other is through the phone. Do you have any tips for that?
Hi Haley, you may want to try Skype sex. This guide will help.
Another really great way is to use teledildonics devices like sense love that work wirelessly through your phones the toys can interact with each other from any wear or can be used for solo play such as teasing them while they are at work for edge play. Another great idea is to have them do tasks and send pics or vids for proof.
That would of been a perfect time to leave a pair in his suitcase……?….makes it hard to resist ?
One very hard and very humiliating assignment I was given was to watch the cartoon “Bratz” every Saturday morning and report exactly what happened each week. It’s very much a girls cartoon and yes, I had friends walk in while I was watching it and it definitely kept me from watching sports or doing stuff with the guys. I also had to play online girl’s games that require daily visits. Just a couple of ideas.
hello, i am my wifes sub in the bedroom.
i am looking for resources to help me worship her better to enhance this development in our relationship.
Check out this article on how to be submissive for some tips. Although it’s actually aimed towards women, I think you’ll find some great ideas in there.
I find even though this sight and articles are mainly directed towards women it is really a great educational tool for couples to share together and open the doors of communication about sex how and what your partner male or female likes it is a great way to discuss fantasies you both have and the proper way to explore and experience them
Hi Sean
My partner is really into bondage and it took me long time to really get into some of things …it was like had a problem with the titles /names of things…
So eventually I got it to it as long as we kept it focus on sensation and not too much role play and talking….that just turned me off…talking to me as tho he owned me…
Now lately he has expressed an interest in femdom which I think would suit us better coz Im very independent and strong willed woman.
But Im still put off by playing a role and saying lines and thats what hes really into…
So I guess Im asking how do I get past being bored with playing a role and feeling that it a childish waste of time.
Stressed out
Talk to him. Relationships are based on give and take, what you want and what your man wants.
Dear Sam,
Try not to make it a script.
Try having him write down words or phrases that arouse him. I know for myself, certain words or phrases can send me over the edge with little other help.
Often as little as being referred to as “My Sweet Boy” or “My Pet” can make me erect almost instantly. Then whispering in my ear as she masturbates me, telling me that she needs to drain my balls or milk my prostate to ensure I will be an obedient boy.
The words can be as I intoxicating as the gentle caresses she gives me.
So my bf and I are exploring I know a lol more then he does but he likes golden showers an wearing panties. Which are 2 things I don’t kno much about and he likes being talked down to. Do you have any advice or tips on how I do it? In a way he will like bc I don’t kno much about the wants of subs like that
The best way to find out exactly what he wants is to talk to him and ask questions to find out more of exactly what he wants. Just as important, is him finding out what you want btw. The best strategy is to start with baby steps and then go from there.
I find the golden shower experience is a turn on and definitely as a sub I like my girlfriend to take control and do what ever she likes to me within both hard limits soft limits and a safe word make sure u set these up communication is the key to success and will open up more experiences that you both will enjoy it will be a little awkward at first but afterwards it is so simple
Started doing this 1 of 4 days, now I am a full time slave trainee. My Master makes me serve daily.
My partner like the dom idea… However we don’t spend much time together.. How do I tell him what to do when he’s at home by himself… Any role play ideas…. Made him cage up and use a mains power vibratirbon his cock till he cums. What else can I do… My imagination isn’t great
Well today is father’s day here. I got a present from my mistress and it turned out to be an embarrassing one. She bought me a new bra for father’s day! Had to share that.
I loved being forced to lay on the floor after I gave my girlfriend full oral service, eating pussy & then tonguing her ass as she slapped my face whenever mood struck her. Anyway after that she would make me lie on floor while she used her foot to press my face to the side and only look at wall while she masturbate3
I love to orally service women. Both eating pussy & tonguing ass, and being slapped if I don’t do a good job or she just feels like slapping me. Huge turn-on if she has orgasm while slapping my face. I must do anything she wants in or out of bed if she slaps me & I cum because of it. Ladies if your man is secure enough to let you rule him, try this. Nothing like having me buy her new jeans/outfit because she slapped me while I was servicing her & I had orgasm just from her slapping my face. Never touching my cock, or at least thats what she said the 2 times its happenrd. Some days (done this 6x) I have to stay nude from waist down all day at house & she slaps me whenevet she wants & orders me to cum. If I don’t before a certain time period,t she cuts me off for 2 weeks. So far I haven’t orgasmed during this but it turns me on. I will. She spends 2 wks making me watch her masturbate but i must stay fully clothed and limp.she says odering me to cum is hot but slapping my face just bc she can is hootter. Sometimes she meets me at area outside restrooms at nice restaurants and she slsps me several times during our lunch or dinner & then I can’t return to table until i masturbate in restroom. While she waits. And times me.
Hard slaps delivered before she turns around while standing, & orders me to stick my tongue as deep into her ass as possible.and give service for as long as she wants. YESSSS!
My bf likes orgasm denial and feet. While we both have kids it’s hard to play so we do it by text. I deny or allow him orgasms. What are some clever ways to do this when we camt play?
Give him tasks that he needs to perform every day
Hi my Goddesses
I am going to tell you as a man.
I know you are better. I want with all my soul to submit to you. But I am afraid that you will dump me. I want to be ruled but also loved.
You women are so much superior
Stupid thing to say. You’re making them believe this is true.
My husband really enjoys ass play and pain. The rougher the better. The only way to figure out what kind of pleasure and discipline your sub requires is to have a conversation usually in a neutral area. If you are a woman looking to become a Dom one of the easiest ways to break that barrier is ass play. Make him experience what a woman experiences when she submits and gives her body. Face down ass up (bend over boyfriend) is the easier way to accomplish that, also easy way to control him I.e he’s not allowed to touch you, look at you, touch himself, or move. Some men like love making and some like it rough it’s up to you to discover your mans limits and push them.
I want to hog tie my bf and pull him to the edge of the bed where his head is slightly off of it and be dressed in sexy burlesque style lingerie and somehow design a contraption where he cant move his head unless I want or allow him to and have him give me oral sex until I combust!! Men do it to woman all the time. Skull fucking. Rather we lay flat on the bed with our head slightly off as he gives his cock as deep as it can go. Or we lay down on our backs as he fucks our mouths. …or they grab our heads while we are on our knees and pinch our nose where we almost cant breathe ….I am a giver. I get off when my bf is turned on and most definitely gets off hard! So why cant I have my fantasy? I made the idea and copyrighted it and it isnt about making money if it does it does but it’s about it being my fantasy and mine only…sure you can stand at end of the bed or if short on a stool so his mouth reaches your clitoris but the apparatus I have come up with and copyrighted makes it kinky af and me own it. Riding his face yeah it’s great and all but this is kind of the same yet he cant move and I call all the shots and well on that note. I’m waking him up and devouring him. (: HAVE FUN PEOPLE. SEX IS A STRESS RELEIEVER AND A MUST HAVE. IT IS MY DRUG OF CHOICE. TIME FOR MY FIX!!
Wow I wish more woman thought like you
Probably splitting hairs on language here, but hard limits should *not* be pushed – that is why they are limits! To do so is to push past the consent you have. ‘Soft’ limits are different and may be explored with discussion (and I suggest, safeword).
Sean, i love this article, i hope in the future we can pass from basics to more hard stuff, i’ve been discussing this with my partner and actually he loves it, and want to be actually into it. (Which i love) i do not like some porn out there who is very disgusting because i am sure real femdom experiences are personal and i do not want having only that perspective of the femdom world. He likes pain, and asphyxia too.
Or at least please give us some links to start reading better.
How can I make it painful and humiliate as my partner want me to make it kinky and humiliate
Are there Dominate women out there that truly enjoy power exchange or role reversal cross dressing and bringing it to full potential not just in sexual but every life aspect from they’re alpha man and turning him into a womanized/sissy/shemale. And actually use Hypnotic and different brainwashing techniques to start making the natural attraction his own genders manhood. Come to surface and increase exponentially. ???
What happens too the once king if the circle the revealing reliever. Who helped all who had not been proven wrong. The marathon sex once multiple orgasmic penis gets turned into a property like ownership status to with his closest love now her personal man meat say he had a weird humiliating golden shower devouring fetish which shed per in a cup sometimes and had it to him in front of anyone and say a humiliating give away in simple dominance ensuring an utter submission she made him king of her shit. Of course gradual progression as all professions take but in thought of as all situations as extremes.
Say the female lover may have lived the entirety of her life next to her alpha man. Every moment or be away a third or half of the time. Perhaps away for extensive short times. Consider a sexual premise never needing anything more because he helped push most of her limits to his limit now say a the second couples female notices more men and works the situation to experience such different men. Then the third couples female had week long girl sex parties discovering her true desires and witnessing the pleasures of real monster cock and porn star whores. That first cpls female is grateful to have been opened up but wouldn’t have put his opened box together with her past open box .. Just meaning was naturally self serving while was away in first attempt. Now add a col that are together completely loyal never cheated or let one even start to be curious. Into the group 3 out of 4 fuck it to be excuse compensating lets say only 5 out of 7 woman cheat on there man in my personal experience as would be my guess give or take. Like 5/8 because of fear and those who would retaliate is it genetically wired to desire or reprogrammed to be insecure and bring in another for a true need as if its female creed in hopes to breed. And still have him protecting home. So say. Each man is Alpha and desires to be completed and utterly taken advantage of and pushed to the utmost extreme for maximizing reaping of ones life’s greatest achieves happiest qualities of life. Most he’s already been able to achieve except for specific women then take beta men jealous self serving controlling undeserving stuck up snobby men who. Think that there shit don’t stink and it reaks. Well before its even released. The righteous alphas became such for the greater good of humanity who ironically defeats them.
Is it wrong if the woman empowered by such men each with different extremes. Who once was saved afte a suicidal crusade then found a new dream No one can say she’s not sane turning him into her Bilbo who’re to support 8 kids once made by rape some say now supported by rape but only to those made to hate as he knew his fate would it only be to nondiscriminate
Dominant women are not just the costume. This is the first lesson. Male fantasies are not priority, that’s the second 🙂 Love the post
What should I do if I don’t know how to get myself off so I don’t know what to make my male submissive do so that I get pleasure and don’t feel like I do all the work and get none of the play?
You need to explore yourself and learn what gets you off
Hello,
I recently got into the Dom scene with my boyfriend. He loves having a woman control him. The more humiliating the better. What other things can I do to control him?? I don’t want to ask him, cause then he will think I can’t be a good Dom. I make him wear his cock cage which he likes to wear anyways. But I need more humiliating ideas.He likes to be humiliated and controlled completely.
Name calling?
A collar?
Humiliating clothes?
Humiliating him in public?
Like many comments say. Talk about these things. These are some beginning things.
Think of a cute nick name for him. Perhaps sweets or angel. Initials can be fun too. Maybe LD for little dick. Confuse pronouns like she and her.
When in the car together, you always drive he rides. Even better if you have a motorcycle.
When you go out to a restaurant your order for him. You may ask him what he wants, but you order for him. If you go to a nice restaurant you order steak or lobster. You can order him a small salad. When telling the waiter state that he is watching his weight.
Go to a place and have family pictures taken. He wears a light pink shirt and is seated. The female stands with her hand on his shoulder. He has the child(ren) sit on his lap. Buy the pictures and put them in the family room. The female pictures are hung above the male pictures.
You can control his speaking. He does not speak unless you speak to him. If someone asks him a question, he looks over at you. You can either answer the question or say to him “You may speak”.
You could pick out his clothes for him. Pick clothes that you would like to see him in.
When you go clothes shopping. Have him carry your purse. When you are in the women’s section ask him what he would like you to wear. Go try the things on and ask him to look for more things for you. Thus leaving him alone in the women’s section carrying a purse looking through the clothing. Pick out some clothes for him in the women’s section. Hold them up to him in the store. Send him to the men’s clothing room to try them on. He has to walk back to you in the women’s section for you to give your opinion. Use words like, it is cute. that makes your but look nice. or that is too manly for you.
Put him in a girls two piece bikini and drive him to a public car wash and have him wash the car. Have him rub is but against the window. Have him rub his tits against the window. Ready to share his embarrassment with your best friend? Have her show up and wash her car too.
Please let us know what you did.
Hugs,
Jaqi
Hi my partner wants me to become the dom and I’m really struggling to get out of my own head.
This is all quite new to me but has always been part of his sex life. I’m trying to build my confidence and openness but it’s an up hill struggle. I’ve been reading all your articles and news letters but still finding it hard. I even get embarrassed sexting!!
Any tips and advice would be greatly appreciated
Check out the guide on how to be dominant for some great tips.
My bf is really into listening to me tell him stories about how I seduce men(especially married men), and manipulate them into listening to me and doing whatever I want and disregarding their gfs. Most of the stories are made up on my end to please and satisfy his fetish for it in bed. But he usually comes when we get to the part where the wife or gf catches me and then I proceed to tell them that I’m better than them and how much their husband/ bf loves me. Is that a type of femdom or should I be worried he’s a potential cheater?
From your comment, it’s hard to tell if he’s into femdom and it seems unlikely that he’s cheating. Often people have kinks and fetishes that they never want to act out in real life. The rape fantasy is a good example of this…nobody actually wants to get raped! If you’re worried about his kink, then my advice is to talk to him.
I’m a female sub but you can do what my husband does to me. It starts before you get to the bedroom. He insists that when he comes home, I’m on my knees in an apron and thong cuz my ass under the bow looks like a present. If I do a bad job he spanks me and makes me do it again. I sit at his feet while he eats dinner, then he feeds me mine. Is your lifestyle a secret? Because doing these things in front of people or in public make them effective. When I’m a baby in a diaper or on a leash, I have to crawl everywhere. We don’t go to bed together. He sends me to bed and tells me to strip. When he comes in he says, “You’re gonna do what your told and O don’t wanna hear a word but “Yes, Sir.” Orders to do anything that are just a power play like making me come back to open the beer I just brought him or take off his shoes, not being allowed to sit on the furniture but at his feet. Since we don’t hide our life style, my play pen, changing table and time out chair are in the living room. When people ask if we have children, he says, “No, that’s for my wife when she misbehaves.”
On my knees scrubbing the floor, hands and knees with my butt facing the door. Forgot to mention that. And he doesn’t always tell me when he’s bringing home company. But I am expected to serve and obey them. I’m a little girl or a baby. So all adults are ma’am and sir to me. Hope I helped.
I feel I could do all this, but I have a jeans fetish; I West them everyday, I West them as Tight as I can get into. I go shirtless and work out frequently. I like leather accessories, and I groom myself well.i wear low-cut designer briefs.
Anyone else this way? Humiliation for me comes from being treated in demeaning ways and tones and whippings dressed as a macho man.
I really want to know something.
In femdom stuff, when the guy lick the girl’s shoes, are the shoes usually used only for that scene? Or do they also lick dirt from shoes that she have been walking on the street for many normal days?
I mean, I think I like to be submissive, and to lick the shoes she uses around, but I wonder how bad that could make to me, since theres no way to know what she stepped in.
I wonder, in femdom stuff, when the guy lick the bottom of her shoes, are the shoes usually used for real in the streets? Or are they usually selected shoes to use only some times, in some scenes?? I would appreciate an answer. Thx xD
This is from Dave, the guy who wants to look macho, but is subservient. I crave being beat up by my girlfriend, especially if I am only wearing skinny jeans. Foot worship follows as SHE berates me for trying to be the boss. Then, tease and denial, occasional face slapping, public put downs. Love to have my pecs twisted as I wear HER dog collar. I want very much to dialogue with guys who need this, too.
I agree, tip number 9, The Orgasm Control, is the best way to be kinky in the bedroom. As a lifestyle Domina, with over 15 years of experience I can tell that ANY male would love to experience new sensations. After a long tease and denial / edging session the orgasms can be mind blowing! Also, ruin orgasm techniques can help males who have a tendency to cum too fast to satisfy their partners better. Everyone should try it at least once. Multiple male orgasms guaranteed.
A kinky technique that a dominant female can use is when her sub is permitted an orgasm, he must don on his back and legs spread as a female. Males tend to want to put legs together. This is a frustration technique that he eventually gets used to but you have succeeded in rewiring him some
Where is about asslicking assworship??
Hi, my boyfriend and I have recently gotten into femdom and I’ve completely run out of ideas, we’re in a long distance relationship so there’s only so much we can do, I’m also not quite comfortable or ready to start doing anything sexual on video call, he has a very high sex drive and loves being punished and the idea of being completely ruined but I have no idea how to punish him and as someone that has a very low sex drive it’s difficult to get into the mood needed for domming him
Have a look at the guide on how to dominate your man in bed.
My favourite is to make him remove all body hair, put him in panties, then spray him with girly floral deo. When ready, I make him watch pictures of hot guys and masturbate like a girl. I mean by making him rub his crotch over his panties with palm of his open hand. No holding his cocklette. While he rubs himself, I turn the pages of the magazine from one hot guy to another, asking him all the time about what exactly is so hot about the guy he is watching. After he cums, I make him eat it.
Have you ever considered teaching/training a man that his orgasm, when he finally gets to orgasm, is going to be painful or have painful consequences? This seems really cruel, perhaps, but it is going to create a tension that stimulates and energizes through the roof. He has to orgasm – maybe it’s been a while that you’ve made him wait; maybe you’ve been arousing him, teasing and denying. He’s thinking about the pleasure, the release that’s going to be his. Maybe, he is too aroused to remember that last time the act or the consequences were so painful – physically or emotionally – but he’s going to remember. And, now, he’s stuck. He needs to orgasm. He’s only going to orgasm with you, otherwise things are going to be horribly bad. He NEEDS to orgasm. He KNOWS his release is going to come with painful consequences. The balance, the tension, what if’s, the unknowns, make him crazy. You can do anything you want with him. You can soothe him or amplify the distress. The lead up to the orgasm is horribly filled with ambivalence. But … he NEEDS to orgasm. Mmmmmmm.
Wet Lilly
My wife wanted to try the hair removal as a kinky game, including on the top of my head. That’s a bit much for me. She keeps trying though. Generally speaking she prefers bald men and the shaved look on a guy, young or old. I only consult part time now, maybe someday I’ll give in.
My wife read this and it’s quite a turn on. She’s set out denying me orgasms until she thinks I should have them. I have trouble having orgasms and we wonder if the teasing and buildup will help. I was very turned on by her dominant idea. I’m giving this a try. She says if I orgasm on my own she’s going to clipper my hair off. She’s quite enjoying this. It’s a kit of kinky fun.
I waited one solid month to have an orgasm that my wife endorsed. I needed a release. My wife and I enjoyed this and I had a wonderful release, which is usually not the case with issue I have. We’re discussing getting an upgraded chastity device for me to wear. It would be consensual and nothing I’d wear all the time, but it would be something I’d frequently wear when she gives the word. She’ll agree to spend the money but I have to wear it when she says so. I guess we’ll have some more “yes dear” role play and she’s already talking about my next prostate milking. I think I’m a lucky 50+ guy to have a wife that’s willing to be a little kinky. She actually forbade me from playing golf this weekend. She had other things in mind :-).
Feel so lucky I found this website. Going to send it to my wife. She is very VANILLA, I have been trying for years to get her to open up to me.
Hopefully this will give her a push.
For many months I was beaten with a stick by my strict family for being wild in the bedroom. But ever since moving to the tolerant West, I feel liberated and free to delve deep into the gaping abyss of all my kinks.